w1tchesrave Member Profile

...See more I'm going on vacation with my dad's side of the family this weekend and I'm not close with them at all, not to mention, my ex boyfriend (family friend) will also be there. They don't seem to understand the depths of my anxiety or how to deal with it despite me trying to explain countless times. I'm scared that something will happen to me like health wise, I'll pass out, throw up blablabla. I have agoraphobia and didn't want to go on this vacation for obvious reasons but they said they'd literally drag me out because i can't stay locked up forever. My grandma will be cornering me to talk about education and when I'm going to get a job and trying to talk about things I'm not ready to, even if I tell her I don't want to talk, she will continue to push. I also have depression and issues with SH and suicidal thoughts, I'm in a bad place already at the moment and I don't want this to push me over the edge and I end up doing something silly. I just needed to tell someone about this, I know there's listeners on here but idk there's something about that scares me. I don't know how to handle any of this, it's for an entire week and I have no way of getting back home, even at home it's a hard place for me. I don't have safe people or places really. I've tried every method they tell you to calm and it never works. I just am dreading my life.

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