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warmheartedField8173
1,337 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceSeptember 4, 2016
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Do you guys think he will come back around?
Relationship Stress / by warmheartedField8173
Last post
 September 17th, 2016
...See more We met back in 2011. We were together & had this type of connection like we never had with anyone else. We would be on & off & it wasn't exactly serious we were in hs & very young. He broke up with me in 2012. He reached out to me a month later to see if I had a bf. After that I never heard from him again since he ended up moving to another state & lost all his contacts. in 2013 we found each other on social media. He said he's been looking for me realized he was wrong & still loved me. We did long distance ever since. When he moved back I found out he flirted & talked to other girls during our relationship. I was angry but we worked it out. He completely changed and committed himself to me. He even deleted all his social media to prove he doesn't care for the ppl of his past. I helped him quit smoking & drinking. His family didnt want anything to do with him so myself and my parents took him in to our home since he hit hard times. His mom is sick and isn't capable to help him. He had nobody really but me. We spent everyday together we even let him borrow our car. I encouraged him to keep going to school when he felt like giving up. I than got pregnant & he went to school full time & finished & got his dream job. We helped & supported him every step of the way! & he helped & supported us with things we needed as well. After I had the baby he was very helpful even though it got tough we always worked it out. After having the baby, being a stay home mom all alone all day & especially with no sleep wasn't easy at all. I let things and thoughts get to me I would be grouchy and bring others down around me including him.even though I would start stuff he knew how to handle me & always talked me through it. sometimes he would get super angry (he has anger problems) but he would always apologize even if it was me wrong or me who pushed him to the limit. He even packed his things twice and left but came back the same night. He said he would never leave he just gets so angry he just leaves so I snap out of it & to cool off because he doesn't know what he will do next. We had such a comfortable relationship.it didn't matter if we looked a mess, smelled bad, even use the bathroom with each other, we were so accepting of each other & didn't judge. But I would have times where I would just think of the past get angry start something... He did everything for me & the baby. He always put me first sometimes I would think it's too good to be true we had nothing to hide. But fast forward...he moved to a new location for his job. And he was doing even better. More customers more money. He started staying even later than he was before on some days. It was hard because I missed him & loved how he helped me with the baby. But he loves to work and make money! I even had the find my iPhone app to see if he was still at work or if he was on his way home yet to ease my mind instead of bugging him. He thought it was funny I did that but when we had the argument during the break up He thought I was looking because I didn't trust him & was tracking him down. I would always be paranoid & be down his throat about who's this girl liking your photo or why you looking at her (when he wasnt) I would do it to play around sometimes but didn't even realize. He thought it was funny I did it at times but other times it would bug him. But he would always take it & calm me down & put me at ease. He understood I got like that sometimes. We were each other's first real love, first everything, I was his first real committed relationship. How we broke up: he was working a lot & helping me with the baby when he gets home & let me add he plays video games Half the night & wakes up early & works late 2-3 nights of the week. He doesn't eat during the day or take a break, (he cuts hair) all day) And than he was coming home to a nagging annoying girlfriend who's always on his case. We were planning to do something Sunday as well always did than his co workers wanted to do a BBQ. He said he's only going 2 hours just to show up & eat & celebrate how he helped get the shop going better. We planned to go out that night bc he wanted to have alone time with me and felt bad he had to change plans and leave me at home. but I guess the guys showed up late so he had to stay longer than two hours & he asked me to come to the BBQ because they ended up deciding to bring there families and he didn't know . It was all last minute. I got furious I just wanted him home so we could go out & do something. I kept blowing up his phone yelling called him names it was real bad. He came home packed his stuff and left to a hotel. He cried to my mom when giving her the key to our house and said he does everything for me & I still bring up the past and don't trust him he just wanted a day out with the guys. than the next day came back he decided he doesn't want to be with me. I told him how I felt he said I will never change & when he gave back the keys you can see he was about to cry & didn't want to leave but pushed himself too. He had a place to stay at his moms place since his family was out of town so they wouldn't know. He ended up finding an apartment that you can move in on the same day & that was it. He comes over to see the baby for an hour everyday. Some days it's just awkward he's silent. Other days he's quiet but it's not awkward it's like he's nice but silent. He seems to be comfortable when he comes over sometimes...he doesnt really talk to us unless it's something about the baby, but he seems comfortable and it's not exactly awkward. My parents are upset because he could have at least told them he's sorry it's not gonna work out with there daughter but he appreciates everything we done. But nothing. He doesn't talk about it at all. My mom tried to talk to him the first time she saw him after the fight which was a week later and she told him how she felt & she still loves him no matter what and you can see he was choked up he did not say one word and was dead silent the whole time he was at our house. He's paying for my Disneyland season pass & said he's still gonna come with us on the next trip but only for the baby. Which is odd to me because why would he want to go with my parents & I & the baby, that's kind of awkward? But we always had such fun times together as a family I knew he was genuinely happy & loved us. He never really had a family exactly or people who supported and helped him how we did. We were his real support & family. But I guess he forgot that now that he's making money & is so full of himself.i even apologized 2 weeks after the break up about how I was and how I treated him. I told him I took a step back & realiEd how I was & that's not who I am or want to be for our daughter. He said he forgives me & now it's about the baby and don't worry about it, Your fine! He seemed like he didn't want to really talk about it...He still is on our family phone bill plan, he said he was gonna take himself off so he can have his own phone line with his name, and my mom authorized it & texted him he can take himself off & put it in his name and to let her know if he still wants to be on the family phone plan with us...he never replied. For some reason he hasn't taken himself off the phone plan...but it could be because he's busy & figuring out if he's gonna switch carriers or something. Since the break up he's re activated his old fb he deleted for us & started following girls that he's talking to on his Instagram that's suppose to be for his business at work.... I found out he made a dating profile and is talking to a bunch of different girls from different cities and states! He talks on the phone with them all night! I'm assuming he's doing this because he's lonely & wants attention & affection. I mean he does go home to nothing...no wifi or cable! I mean he will eventually have to miss the real physical stuff about being in a relationship rather than this over the phone fantasy stuff. His life now is Wake up, go to work, visit baby, go home & talk on phone all night or sleep. He sometimes goes out to drinks now. I saw him hiding a bracelet from the bar or club he went to, I guess he forgot to take it off and didn't want me to see but I already saw. This happened twice he thought he was slick. I use to get mad if he drinks but we're not together so why would he think I cared or why would he care enough to even hide it from me,? on his days off he picks up his mom far away from work, visits baby, and sometimes hangs out with co workers to play ball and goes out for drinks..But he mentioned his house is a mess he hasn't sorted everything out. It's just all his junk a mess & just his blow up bed I guess. Anyways to me how could he be happy with that? I'm sure right now he's enjoying his space being alone having freedom with out a girlfriend weighing him down. But we had more positive good times than the bad. He's busy with work & a new apartment, talking to all these different girls online, it's obvious he's keeping busy! He's never even home! but will he ever miss me? What we had? You don't just be with someone everyday since 2014 go through everything we been through than just turn off your feelings the next day. I know he was tired and burnt out I pushed him to the point of his anger & he left & probably just needs space to breath. in the past we always got back together & everything but that was before a baby & all this stuff we been through. This is our first real break up since 2014...We have so much history so many great memories. There's no way he can be happy with going home to nothing but his online girlfriends. It may be fun now but once it all settles it will all have to catch up. I mean it seems he's burying his feelings instead of properly dealing with them & moving on , but that's my opinion. if it wasn't for me he wouldn't be where he is right now doing so well with his career! & he even bought a brand new family suv now he's got a big car for nothin. Barely a month ago from our break up I dropped everything to go with him to another state to be with him as his gma found out she had cancer & suddenly died not even a month later. I made it possible to go with him. I brought those things up to him when he was deciding to leave me he said "u didn't have to go" and here u go with the guilt trip. I feel stupid because I did so much & accepted him & never gave up on him in the past when he did me wrong & lied about things & I made my mistake because I missed him too much and he just decides to walk away from it? I get he needed that space. But it sucks because we been through so much to let it all go to waste. I hate when he comes over to my house because he seems just fine. Some days it feels weird but some days he's still quiet but it's not a weird awkward quiet it's kind of calm and normal...If we have to talk about the baby we talk normal and fine. Sometimes it seems he avoids me like not looking at me. Some days he'll look at me with no problem if we talk about the baby or something. But it's not much talking... I feel like he's not so worried about me moving on because he knows my routine of being home with the baby. And he hasn't even takin the rest of his remaining things...it's stuff he doesn't exactly need but it's still his stuff if he wanted to leave why didn't he take every single thing? Our house is not a storage place!! It's just all so confusing. I do notice how he is always keeping himself busy..he even went to Nevada this weekend to see his step dad his only other family member since he had no plans for Labor Day...so obviously he's probably not feeling the best and needs someone to lean too. But my plan right now is to just focus on bettering myself & my daughter & let him have his space. Im not gonna sit here waiting around for him, life goes on...But it just confuses me about how he could turn off his feelings and move on when I know he really loved me and truly cared. i mean he even cried for me andd was always there for me and i know every single thing about him.i was the first girl he really opened up and shared everything to.. so how could he just talk to all these different girls and forget how i was there for him through every single thing and how i accepted him and how he could always be himself with me. I hate how these thoughts come to me at times like how he's doing just fine....What do you guys think about all this and his actions? do you guys think he will ever come around?
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