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wickedhippie
138 M Embraced 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2022 Member sinceNovember 10, 2021
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Wickedhippie Needs Help.
Trauma Support / by wickedhippie
Last post
 December 4th, 2022
...See more And so it begins.
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Discomfort around parents
General Support / by wickedhippie
Last post
 July 1st, 2022
...See more I don’t know if this is the forum to talk about this, but I’ve always felt slightly uncomfortable by other parents’ affection. They could offer me food, water, attention, or even just trying to get to know me;; and a part of it makes me.. irritated. I know they mean well, but parents / parental figures who care about my well-being make me uncomfortable. I don’t necessarily have the worst childhood, but it’s kinda messed with a part of me. Why do parents make me uncomfortable? Why does their care and affection for me make me irritated?
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I told my boyfriend.
Trauma Support / by wickedhippie
Last post
 November 12th, 2021
...See more I recently told him I was sexually assaulted in 2020 after he tried defending rape jokes. It happened twice by the same rapist. The first time it happened me and my partner weren't together, and second time we were. It took a long time to accept what happened to me, and I hesitated telling him. I felt deep down inside of me he would blame me, that I wanted it, and that made me scared about telling him about the most recent one, the one that hurt me the most. He's more concerned with me being a non-virgin than the fact I had everything taken from me. I told him about the two assaults in one time frame; when we weren't together, because then he would be more understanding.. Right? He still blamed me. He told me I should've known what was coming. How I knew what was happening. How I could've prevented it. How I could've done something different. How it was my fault. I tried to explain what happened to me twice in one time frame; a frame when we weren't together, yet that still wasn't good enough. I know that if I had been honest about the second time being recent, something worse could've been said or done. He apologized after I cried my heart out explaining I lost more than my virginity. I lost my sense of self, my safety, my worth. I lost who I was. I never want to speak about it with him again. Whenever it's brought up, I can hear his voice filled with denial and blame. I hate it. I feel awful lying about the second time being a part of the first, a time we weren't together, but I never lied about what happened to ME. My experience. I just know from how he responded, he won't be able to understand. He barely understands a time frame that didn't involve us being together.
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