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willingSailboat3995
2 1,476 M Little Steps 5
Struggling with mental health and relationship issues.
PathStep 37 Compassion hearts35 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupTeen Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceMarch 2, 2023
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Too Fast
Depression Support / by willingSailboat3995
Last post
 October 16th, 2023
...See more I Started out small,  As all Humans do; With dreams like mountains, In hopes they’d come true. To soar like a bird, To glide like a fish; Everything I wanted, Started with just one wish. My friends and family, Cheering me on; Creating new memories, And making new bonds. Laughing together, And talking heart-to-heart; For fear one wrong move, Would tear me apart. Wanting to grow up, Or be just like dad; Forgetting to slow down, Remembering the sad. Thinking too old, Not wanting to stay young; Giving in to peer pressure, With hurtful words that stung. Friends that backstab me, That tear me every which way; I put my head down, In fear of what my parents would say. Believing that the world, Is just there to destroy me; Making bad choices, If only they could see. Wishing that life was over, Pretending no one could tell; Distancing myself from others, All I could do was yell. Hiding my feelings, From everyone who could help; No one can hurt me, If they don’t hear my yelp. Faking a smile, That was only just a mask; No one cared to stop, All they had to do was ask. Knowing I could do better, After staying up till three; Not wanting any help, Just people to let me be. Having dreams of my past, Of my “perfect” childhood; Remembering how valuable, If only I was still good. My mother had once said, “Don’t take life for granted”; And “try to stay young”, But those words have now become slanted. Twisted words, With a broken heart; If only I knew, How to go back to the start. Broken friendships, I knew wouldn’t last; Crippling pain, As I remember the past. Blasting depressing music, Straight into my ears; Saying to myself and the world, I would only be here for one more year. I say that life is useless, That I have no hope; My friends try to listen, Try to help me cope. I distance myself, From all my friends and family; It’s up to me now, I just want to be free. I freeze, With a brief moment of relief; Stop to look at myself, Because I’ve turned over a new leaf. With a slight, Moment of realization; I am filled with hope, And a bit of elation. Break down in tears, At the thought; Of friends and family, Having an empty spot. The beautiful life, I almost threw away; I sit there speechless, With no idea of what to say. One wrong move, Is all it would take; One bad decision, Sounded like a piece of cake. I think back, To what I could have been; To climb high mountains, Or put paper to pen. A wave of emotions, Now swallows me whole; A hurricane of sadness, The life I almost stole. I turn to friends and family, For help and support; They comfort and guide me, My life they help sort. As I look back To my childhood; I wonder where I want wrong, And what I did good. And now I rely That life’s just a mess; With heartache and pain, And no limit on stress. Life’s also short, Flies by fast; But the best thing I can do, Is try to make it last. If everybody thinks, Life is a race; I will now gladly be last, With the biggest smile on my face. I still have dreams, As tall as mountains; Some even silly, Like splashing in fountains. I still want to soar, Just like a bird; Go to a good school, and learn a new word. Maybe even glide through water, Like the most beautiful fish, Everything I want, Still starts with just one wish. There is only one thing I would change, As I look back on the past; If only I hadn't wanted To grow up too fast. Title edited Oct 16, 2023
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