Too Fast

I Started out small, 

As all Humans do;

With dreams like mountains,

In hopes they’d come true.

To soar like a bird,

To glide like a fish;

Everything I wanted,

Started with just one wish.

My friends and family,

Cheering me on;

Creating new memories,

And making new bonds.

Laughing together,

And talking heart-to-heart;

For fear one wrong move,

Would tear me apart.

Wanting to grow up,

Or be just like dad;

Forgetting to slow down,

Remembering the sad.

Thinking too old,

Not wanting to stay young;

Giving in to peer pressure,

With hurtful words that stung.

Friends that backstab me,

That tear me every which way;

I put my head down,

In fear of what my parents would say.

Believing that the world,

Is just there to destroy me;

Making bad choices,

If only they could see.

Wishing that life was over,

Pretending no one could tell;

Distancing myself from others,

All I could do was yell.

Hiding my feelings,

From everyone who could help;

No one can hurt me,

If they don’t hear my yelp.

Faking a smile,

That was only just a mask;

No one cared to stop,

All they had to do was ask.

Knowing I could do better,

After staying up till three;

Not wanting any help,

Just people to let me be.

Having dreams of my past,

Of my “perfect” childhood;

Remembering how valuable,

If only I was still good.

My mother had once said,

“Don’t take life for granted”;

And “try to stay young”,

But those words have now become slanted.

Twisted words,

With a broken heart;

If only I knew,

How to go back to the start.

Broken friendships,

I knew wouldn’t last;

Crippling pain,

As I remember the past.

Blasting depressing music,

Straight into my ears;

Saying to myself and the world,

I would only be here for one more year.

I say that life is useless,

That I have no hope;

My friends try to listen,

Try to help me cope.

I distance myself,

From all my friends and family;

It’s up to me now,

I just want to be free.

I freeze,

With a brief moment of relief;

Stop to look at myself,

Because I’ve turned over a new leaf.

With a slight,

Moment of realization;

I am filled with hope,

And a bit of elation.

Break down in tears,

At the thought;

Of friends and family,

Having an empty spot.

The beautiful life,

I almost threw away;

I sit there speechless,

With no idea of what to say.

One wrong move,

Is all it would take;

One bad decision,

Sounded like a piece of cake.

I think back,

To what I could have been;

To climb high mountains,

Or put paper to pen.

A wave of emotions,

Now swallows me whole;

A hurricane of sadness,

The life I almost stole.

I turn to friends and family,

For help and support;

They comfort and guide me,

My life they help sort.

As I look back

To my childhood;

I wonder where I want wrong,

And what I did good.

And now I rely

That life’s just a mess;

With heartache and pain,

And no limit on stress.

Life’s also short,

Flies by fast;

But the best thing I can do,

Is try to make it last.

If everybody thinks,

Life is a race;

I will now gladly be last,

With the biggest smile on my face.

I still have dreams,

As tall as mountains;

Some even silly,

Like splashing in fountains.

I still want to soar,

Just like a bird;

Go to a good school,

and learn a new word.

Maybe even glide through water,

Like the most beautiful fish,

Everything I want,

Still starts with just one wish.

There is only one thing I would change,

As I look back on the past;

If only I hadn't wanted

To grow up too fast.

Title edited Oct 16, 2023