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winterserendipity
247 M Embraced 2
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceMarch 2, 2021
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Early Adulting, Career and Future Anxiety
Anxiety Support / by winterserendipity
Last post
March 3rd, 2021
...See more I think I am in a dark place right now and want to find answers, tho I think what I'm experiencing is not as much comparable as to others who really need more help... but what I am feeling is just consuming me whole most of the time. I tend to overthink lately about the deliverables in my work because it's my first time to lead a team and considering also the timeline and demands of the engagement, it's making me overthink all sorts of worries and it's making me less productive and having lesser sleep because I tend to get awaken early by my worries!!!! I tend to procrastinate and avoid the job yet we have deadlines by next week!!!!! I just want to escape, I did take a leave last time but then the client requested something so I had to work and forfeit my leave. Tho it's a wfh setup, it's still really affecting my mental health :((((( Also, I've been long feeling that I do not find meaning in this job anymore... and just staying for the pay tho it's low. But, I am still afraid to apply and explore new job opportunities given the pandemic situation... adulting is such a struggle!!!! 😭 I think really this is stemming from the job that I no longer see myself into but I've invested 3yrs in this already and I dont know... Im afraid to explore new jobs but I must start by noooww.. but given the workload in my current engagement I haven't been able to push myself to do it. It's so hard to pursue my interest in painting or sketching because it's just a hobby but I find passion in it.. but in our country there's no really money in this i dunno. I didnt pursue arts because I was afraid that when i get stressed doing art, I have nothing to escape to... so ended up pursuing a career in accounting which i dont really like to do but did it thinking of the many oppourtunities... and now I'm barely surviving this because I lack motivation in this field. I just want to find my purpose and know answers and signs that will guide me to the right path. Thank you to anyone who may have read this until the end. May your days shine brighter~