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wittyNorth7199
2 130 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceJune 20, 2024
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Bitterness
Depression Support / by wittyNorth7199
Last post
 June 27th, 2024
...See more I've struggled with depression most of my life but things have been getting progressively worse over the last two years. I'm finding it difficult to find and keep a job at this point. Even when I do have stable work and seem good otherwise, I still find myself considering suicide multiple times each day. I need help. This much is obvious. I was made to believe that help would be there when I need it. But now as I look for some kind of relief from my struggles I feel utterly alone in my efforts. I can't seem to find a counselor who will return my calls. The exact entry point to any kind of official help, financial or otherwise, now seems like something of an urban legend. And I can't even confide in my loved ones without enduring backlash for even having suicidal ideations. As I sink deeper and deeper I now feel a bitterness welling up in me. I was lied to. Told that people care and that I would never be alone if I reached out for help. It's all just a big horrible lie. Nobody cares. It's all a scam. At best an inflatable life preserver with an air leak. I was told I'd never be alone but here I am. Fighting this thing on my own.
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