Bitterness
I've struggled with depression most of my life but things have been getting progressively worse over the last two years. I'm finding it difficult to find and keep a job at this point. Even when I do have stable work and seem good otherwise, I still find myself considering suicide multiple times each day.
I need help. This much is obvious. I was made to believe that help would be there when I need it. But now as I look for some kind of relief from my struggles I feel utterly alone in my efforts. I can't seem to find a counselor who will return my calls. The exact entry point to any kind of official help, financial or otherwise, now seems like something of an urban legend. And I can't even confide in my loved ones without enduring backlash for even having suicidal ideations.
As I sink deeper and deeper I now feel a bitterness welling up in me. I was lied to. Told that people care and that I would never be alone if I reached out for help. It's all just a big horrible lie. Nobody cares. It's all a scam. At best an inflatable life preserver with an air leak.
I was told I'd never be alone but here I am. Fighting this thing on my own.
@wittyNorth7199
I hear you and agree when someone reaches out and no one is there to even answer simple calls.
i started looking for a in person therapy made calls to a providers that were listed on my coverage with availability and asked point blankly are you taking new patients? They never even bothered to return message with a polite no at this time....
i now went to online but had to move to a second therapist because when you do find someone they often do not fit.... imagine if this was a broken arm and a person had to search for help and then try people out before the arm is set.... Time is of the essence when we need to get out our frustration and issues out and have someone who can asks us thing or rephrase it in a way the defuses our crisis.
@wittyNorth7199
No. You’re not fighting this on your own. I’m here to help and support you. Please reach out to me when you need. We can talk about this or if you wanna get your mind off this we can talk about something else whatever that is.
If you’ve tried looking for a therapist but haven’t found one yet please keep trying. I know it’s hard but you have to be patient with it.
Sending you support, hugs, and ❤️❤️❤️
I know you’ll get through this if you keep fighting. People who never give up and keep fighting win. Those who stop are the ones who lose.
