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wittyPerson1231
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceJune 10, 2022
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Need some tips
35 & Over Community / by wittyPerson1231
Last post
 June 12th, 2022
...See more Hi all, Just wanted to share my story and get some tips about the current situation I am in. I am 38, got a great partner, good job, many friends, loving family ... I aslo have a history of clinical depression. About 20 years ago I had a really heavy depression. Had therapy, took meds and got better. During the years I had some small relapses but not as heavy. Doctors decided to keep me on a low dosage of anti depressants, which worked fine for me. This year, we have a lot on our plate. We are remodelling our house, we are getting married this summer, we are in the proces of trying to have a baby (through IVF). Also work has been really stressful. Last week it just got too much and I decided to book a small holiday (leaving tomorrow). I was feeling negative and tired. Last weekend my friends organised my bachelor party. Next day when I woke up I got the news from my girlfriend our latest IVF attempt (2 days before) failed and I just crashed. Stayed in bed for about 3 days, didn't go to work. Immediately went to the doctor who upped my dosage while sending my therapy (later today). I am not spending my days in bed anymore. Try to take some walks with the dog, do some things around the house. Prepare dinner and such. However, there is a constant feeling of anxiety for future events. Like leaving for holiday tomorrow (which should be a good thing) gets me all worked up because I see myself lying in bed just being depressed when we get there. The fear of not being able to restart work when we get back is the same thing. Fear of not being ok by the time we get married, and so on ... These feelings get less intense during the day. I also have a really small dosage of benzodiazepines, which I try to avoid. Am only taking 1/3 of the prescribed dosage a day. It does help a bit to take the edge off. I feel like I just caught it in time before going into something really bad. I am feeling down, but not feeling depressed the way I did in the past. However, it would help me greatly if I could just get some tips about how I can stay in the present, take it day by day. I am losing my energy thinking about situations which will almost always turn out another way then in my mind. Still, I can't relativize these thoughts. Any tips would be very welcome, also for my partner, on how to deal with this.
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