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wordingsouls
1,267 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts40 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes21 Current upvotes21 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceMarch 7, 2018
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Tired
General Support / by wordingsouls
Last post
 March 9th, 2024
...See more Extremely exhausted from trying to find my way in life. Theres so much expectations to do things and be "an adult". The constant nagging and expectation that i should have a drive or some kind of motivation to do something drains me so much, i cant even think whats enjoyable to me anymore. Whats enjoyable? What does it mean to do something because it brings you joy? What does it mean to enjoy the process? Ive been so lost in environments where I was given *** for the outcome and results that Ive learnt that the process doesnt matter, the outcomes do. The wreckage left behind doesnt matter as long as you get the perfect results. Just because a majority is doing something, doesnt make it right. But boy do they make sure you follow suit. I could say that I cant control others, only myself, my responses, and my actions, but it wont change the fact that their actions and behavours affect me whether I want them to or not. And I am sick and tired of bearing the consequences of some other human's lack of consideration, thought, or care. There needs to be space and time in a safe environment to heal and take a rest, but what do you do when that safe haven is nowhere to be found? Do you just stick a plaster and hope for the best, it doesnt get infected and eventually rot you inside out? And then blame yourself for being so weak that you couldnt even fight off an infection? Id like to get better and everything but im sooo tired
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Intentions Arent Enough
General Support / by wordingsouls
Last post
 February 2nd, 2024
...See more Its great to have good intentions. It may be because there is genuine care. What ive noticed is that most tend to forget that the execution is just as important. Why give someone crutches and then force them to break their legs so your crutches are useful? There may be genuine care and concern but perhaps laced with the need to feel good about themselves or something? Either way, care and concern should mean to actually figure out what people need or want, and not just giving random things in hopes of, im not sure what to be honest. Its not to be ungrateful, or spiteful, but telling someone, "hey, i was just thinking about you" and then sending them a gift that has no relevance to them in any way, shows and tells A LOT. Because wouldnt it be equally ungrateful or spiteful to throw the gift away or just give it away to someone else?
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Random thoughts but may be encouragement?
Religion & Spirituality / by wordingsouls
Last post
 February 1st, 2024
...See more Meaning of life? I think for those who believe in God, our lives already would have meaning, just maybe we dont know what exactly. Or purpose, if you will. Just a random thought i got, i hope i dont offend anyone. Regardless of past mistakes or regrets or perceived missed opportunities, we are where we are because we are meant to be here, exactly at this spot, tough as it may be, painfully relentlessly, we are exactly where we ought to be. No matter others' expectations, our own expectations, or those we let down or have let us down. Because somewhere in future, its going to come back to us as something good, in light of God having plans to prosper us and working things together for our good. But as life would have it, sometimes things can get a lot worst, before it gets better.... I think im just rambling at this point, but the main thing i think is, as someone who believes life does have meaning, spending so much effort trying to please others at home or in society, be it for jobs or communities just to grasp at the tiny tiny chance of belonging, would be to throw away that unique meaning of our own existence - especially if it means you have to hide yourself away, or pretend to be someone else. My thoughts are kinda jumbled... But i hope it offers some kind of relief for people who lost hope in life and lost track of what their doing and their purpose for doing it Sending love either way~ Cheers
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Whats the point of church?
Religion & Spirituality / by wordingsouls
Last post
 February 2nd, 2024
...See more I grew up in a christian family, and I have my own experiences with God so i know hes real, i kept my faith and went to be baptised when i was 20ish. But what i dont get is why christians can be the worst people to be around. In my experience, theyre the ones causing anxiety or judging every move or sentence said. I grew up in church too so maybe it was just unlucky to be surrounded by immature christians or something, really trying to find something to hold on to the benefit of the doubt. I dont think theyre bad people but as much as intentions are good, execution is just as important? Im not the best "goody goody" christian there is out there no doubt, but it seems church is just a place to be judged rather than accepted. God is good, yes. The christians....really dont represent Christ at all... Isnt acceptance first before change? You cant exactly change a problem you dont accept.. And i heard that the church is meant to be a community for believers to sharpen their faith as iron sharpens iron, so if im going there and getting blunted, id actually have no reason to go at all?
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A little reminder to keep my peace
General Support / by wordingsouls
Last post
 January 22nd, 2024
...See more I took a step to keeping my peace. I almost feel guilty. Because it could cause another to get upset. Even if it is because my boundaries, which has been spoken and made known, still repeatedly gets ignored over the course of two decades. Funny innit, how Im the bad person for trying to protect myself. For trying to be my own person I cause another to "lose meaning in their life" like I am responsible for their purpose in life. For trying to gather up the miniscule pieces of my sense of self, Im "another person. My daughter isn't like this". And i feel the stares of disapproval from relatives, 'how dare you treat our brother this way'. But they say nothing because its a "family problem", they "don't have a say or the right to interfere" with how someone else runs their family. Now im grown old in the physical sense of things but yet i still feel like a child that needs to hide behind its mother. My sense of self is so tiny, its hard to hold a job, hard to relate to people, hard to strike up conversations because im still trapped in a psychological cage where im not allowed to this or to that. After all thats been said and done, codependency is so toxic i must remove myself but have no means to and no resources to do so. In the years i have yet to endure being on poison ground, I must keep my peace, I must endure. Though it is kinda funny, I wouldve thought i'd gain some poison resistance by now...
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Just putting my thoughts out there
General Support / by wordingsouls
Last post
 January 20th, 2024
...See more Mental wellness is a thing has been overlooked a lot, sure. But now that it is slowly rising to the surface, its starting to become clear that lack of knowledge on mental well being wasnt the issue. So what if someone you know is struggling with something? Is there extra care given? Extra effort? When someone breaks a bone, theyre sent to the hospital and accessed. Taken x-rays to see the extend of the damage and doctors tend to the patient to find the best course of action. Painkillers maybe prescribed for the pain, and sometimes antibiotics to prevent infections. When someone is struggling with something less seen, theyre asked to get over it, move on and move forward. Or take these happy pills that supresses your struggles so other people dont have to deal with your *** too. The contrast is so vast. That maybe, compassion was the main issue all along.
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What I've learnt from my experiences so far
General Support / by wordingsouls
Last post
 December 5th, 2023
...See more People wont help especially when it requires them to go the extra mile or require more work input from them. Just because you spoke to someone about mistreatment doesn't make the situation better nor does it do anything to make it better. Basically, hoping someone else to come and "save" you or help, isn't going to get things done, nor will improve anything in the immediate, near or far future. This can be a bullying case amongst kids, a mistreatment in the office or just plain and simple gaslighting and disrespect within the home. If you can't stand up for yourself, don't expect anyone else to come and stand up for you. Yet it's almost funny that the person who can't stand up for themselves precisely needs someone else to help them. And this is the world we live in. Amazingly, I still observe people simply have accepted that "it is what it is" and continue to live seemingly resigned to this terrible fate without even trying to attempt to change. Of course, i dont blame them. The people i have encountered remained unmoved by kindness, spits contempt in the face of compassion, and laughs before menancingly taking advantage with a self serving greed. Then of course it is like this that kindness and empathy have become a weakness and nothing more.
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