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xenodawn
4,034 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts72 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2020 Member sinceAugust 5, 2019
Bio

hello! my name is dawn, and i struggle with anxiety, panic disorder, depression, an eating disorder, and adhd. i prefer they/them pronouns! and i really enjoy music and art, as they help me cope. :) thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day!

Recent forum posts
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Recovery When You Aren't Skinny
Eating Disorder Support / by xenodawn
Last post
 June 4th, 2020
...See more I know one of the rules here is to not speak about weight specifics, but I'm struggling with feeling like I actually have an ED when I'm not unhealthily skinny like others are. I apologize if this is triggering, also. I just maybe want to see if others struggle with this like I do? I've never been thin. And I promise that isn't the disorder talking, I hear about my "obese weight" from my doctor every time I go in and he was a big fuel into my disorder as it is today. I've been on and off of self imposed diets for over 8 years now, and I'm still just a teen. An "obese" teen, as well. A big teen, who has grown up from being a big kid as well. I used to hear it from everyone in my life that I needed to be smaller to be okay and that being me and my size was bad. So I made up diets or later on found them online once being online became something I had access to. Once I got online, I also found workouts and diet articles and all kinds of things that promoted me being bad and seen as lazy or stupid just because of my looks. And then I started fully starving then, as a means of "getting healthier" and I went more and more into toxic community after toxic community. Eventually, this year, I realized that I can't keep living my life on no energy (as I've been working on my other mental illnesses as well) and that I wouldn't be able to feel better at all unless I started trying to recover. And I've been working at it for a few months now. (I'm also running out of characters, oops.)
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