Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
yellowIdea7518
1 19,803 M Progress Road 8
PathStep 349 Compassion hearts908 Forum posts158 Forum upvotes244 Current upvotes244 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2025 Member sinceMay 3, 2019
Bio

Pain is not only subjective, it's relative. although it may not be real to you, it is - to the person telling you about it.



Recent forum posts
yellowIdea7518 profile picture
To start again.
Journals & Diaries / by yellowIdea7518
Last post
 March 8th, 2025
...See more Today, I started my sporadic journaling again, it makes me feel alive and in touch with myself.  I wish to remind myself how good my life is, might or might not be better than others but it's good to me despite whatever nonsense my head makes out.  The quote below is the theme for today:  "Holding ourselves accountable without sliding into paralyzing shame is a core trauma recovery skill. It's hard to change behavior patterns if we're pummeling ourselves w/ stories about the punishment or misery we "deserve"-- & real accountability is more about change than blame." - Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle
yellowIdea7518 profile picture
Job search anxiety and fear
Anxiety Support / by yellowIdea7518
Last post
 March 2nd, 2025
...See more Hello everyone, I am 29 years old and I had full-time internships before and graduated with a degree one year plus ago. Currently I've been on my upskilling courses and I have irrational phobia of "investing in myself," that includes: 1. actively graduating from my course because (it means I have to put myself out there) and 2. active job search because it reminds me of my traumatic experience with my parents (context below).  As I try to pluck up that damn courage to be ME again, I was constantly reminded of my past experiences.  Many years ago, me being young naive and ambitious, I wanted to pause my degree and pursue an internship to figure out what I wanted after graduation. This caused major riffs between me and my parents-- they wanted me to finish my degree first. But I went with the internship anyway--it was the best decision I've made FOR MYSELF--I was guided for the first time in my life and I'm tremendously and eternally grateful towards my mentors.  But during that period of close to 2 years, I was constantly demeaned by parents which included 1. throwing folded laundry in my face as I came back from work--I do my own laundry btw and usually fold them afterwork but my mom got to it first and use that leverage against me 2. texting long *** paragraphs detailing how unfilial I was for not coming home for dinner ON TIME despite having notified them of my post-work workout with my mentors at the office gym (I have photo evidence as well).  3. constantly being their emotional punching bag for ages 4. why not just enforce your boundaries you might think, yeah I did, but if you live in an asian household--parents are basically royals, always in the right.  5. I started working events during my internship just to stay out of house, but every interaction was basically an altercation.  --- When my internship ended, I remember texting one of my mentors that there was something off about me. and spiralled after--diagnosed with depression and anxiety, went for counselling and eventually was put on meds.  With the help of meds and counselling, things went so well with me-- I went back to uni and graduated. did well in my last semester thank god for meds.  When I tried to dig out past work to support my resume, I started losing it. All the past unpleasant memories began resurfacing, till now. Of course I felt like a wuss, like get over it.  Despite the past and present unpleasantness that I've been feeling for the past year, I know life continues, and I am my only obstacle. I've allowed the past to haunt me I want to move forward by: 1. finishing up my course so that I can add that to my resume  2. do up my resume which includes pulling up my past work and trudge through whatever haunting memories that resurface, hopefully to one day be able to let go.  3. start applying for jobs. Though I'm terrifyingly afraid...
yellowIdea7518 profile picture
dealing with a parent infidelity
Relationship Stress / by yellowIdea7518
Last post
 June 30th, 2024
...See more i found my dads messages and interaction with another woman online. it’s not surprising but i feel heartbroken for my mom. no anger, just sadness. i don’t know what’s the reaction to have. i want to have a healthy perspective on this entire thing… need some help unpacking this and seeing reality from healthy angles anyone healing from this i could really use your advice, thank you.
yellowIdea7518 profile picture
I feel loved.
Positivity & Gratitude / by yellowIdea7518
Last post
 May 24th, 2024
...See more Thank you to the people I've crossed path on here and irl for showing me ways I could be loved - holding space for my vulnerability without judgement and with so much wisdom... (allowing me to slowly chip away the pain each time I feel the rage of betrayals) etc... so thank you.  My embittered self 5 years ago would come onto 7cups, venting about how hurt and betrayed I felt having ended a relationship and thought I would never be whole again like can you believe it?! How much power I'd given to my exes for my wellbeing?! Silly! and honestly very unhealthy. I've since reclaimed that power and it feels good dissolving the years of cynicism and pessimism.  I'm a whole new loving person all thanks to the strangers who have guided me throughout the years.  Embarrassed it took me years to become who I am today, but here I am - a person I never thought id be. 
yellowIdea7518 profile picture
Managing relapses
Depression Support / by yellowIdea7518
Last post
 March 2nd, 2025
...See more Over a year ago, i shared my depression and anxiety recovery journey in one of my threads… it’s like a breath of fresh air from me - full of hope and gratitude. It scares me now to be filled with anxiety and intense sadness that might indicate a relapse… I tried bawling my eyes out earlier, and then reminded myself who i am outside of these waves of sadness i fear i let take control of me. I was energetic, happy i got a second chance at life - happy learning, being in new environment (outside of my comfort zone). I’m afraid of losing her. I was appalled this trigger had ripped open old wounds… im at a loss now, but i know i’ll figure out somehow throughout the day… maybe weeks, maybe months… For now, i let this fear paralysed me
yellowIdea7518 profile picture
Study stress, various anxieties and coping mechanism log
Journals & Diaries / by yellowIdea7518
Last post
 May 18th, 2024
...See more Hello, I get extremely anxious about my studies and the anxiety I have is extremely debilitating for me. I'll use this log to keep track of my meltdowns and coping mechanism (good and bad) I resort to, in order to remind myself that tough (imo) times will pass and that I can do it. I do feel ashamed, ultimately uncomfortable that I still couldnt cope with my studies, and have troubles confiding in people since the responses I usually get is "come on, it's just studies/groupwork/exams, grow up and get over them." This sememster posed another challenge for me because i took an elective that deviates far from my major so I don't know how i'll perform, and that uncertainty eats me up when I think about it before sleep, during lectures and group discussion... I believe I could take things in small stride, and build momentum but i cant convince myself enough that i'll pull off this sememster. I'll see how it goes...
yellowIdea7518 profile picture
Overwhelming anxiety for exams.
Student Support / by yellowIdea7518
Last post
 January 22nd, 2025
...See more Hi, I've always had this anxiety towards college exams, it seems redundant but it is debilitating for me. I'm revising and preparing for the upcoming exams to my best as ability, and I'm afraid I'm going to stand in my own way. I keep consistently reminding myself that panic won't help... Cant help spiralling at this moment...
yellowIdea7518 profile picture
ED Recovery with relapses
Eating Disorder Support / by yellowIdea7518
Last post
 March 24th, 2021
...See more 25(F) recovering from binge-eating. Been keeping a food diary to observe my (new and old) triggers, but needs help with coping mechanism. Do suggest ways to deal with triggers so I could stop reaching for food for comfort. Thank you everyone :)
Search more from @yellowIdea7518
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
39 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Super Active Bubbly Chief Chat Honest Voice Confident Voice Power Voice Strong Start Milestone Journeying Strong Reconnect First Post Reaching out Helping out Appreciated Voice Contributor Community Collaborator First Compassion Helpful heart Kindness personified Loving Soul Bundled Group Chimer Group Chatter Forum Companion Forum Helper Forum Buddy 7 Day Streak Meet & Greet Teammate Group Friend Forum Friend Meaghan's Heart Familiar Face Strong Bond I Hang 10
Report an issue