Change Your Behavior

Goal

To change your behavior to be in line with your values.

Response-ability (pp. 161-162, 171)

Values involve response-ability; that is, acknowledging that you always have the ability to respond. The response you can always engage in is valuing. Keep in mind that no one always lives according to their values. When you feel guilt or shame at your limitations, it is time to get unstuck from that thought by looking at the thought rather than from it. You can also use your acceptance skills to acknowledge the pain that comes in those moments. Then, you can choose to reconnect with your chosen directions so that you can once again begin moving in the direction you choose to move. Values are always perfect; it’s our behavior that needs work.

Changing Your Behavior

Here’s a summary of some ways to change your behavior:

1. Focus on values as your compass to guide your behaviors
2. Keep the focus on things you have control over (avoid pulling in requirements and expectations for other people, places, and things as these are out of our control)
3. Be flexible, mindful, and accepting when implementing behavior change since willingness and adaptability are more important than desire for success

It is important to tie this knowledge about changing behavior with the ideal direction of your behavior change, which is towards your values. This means you will not listen to your thoughts and feelings when they begin pulling you towards the same ineffective ways of responding to situations and issues in life. Instead, you will remember what your values are and examine whether your current ways of thinking, behaving, and responding are in line with these values.

Reflection (Optional)

Write your thoughts down to better understand this concept.