Empty nest. What happens now?
It is just me and Pumpkin now. The waves of depession hit me hard. They sweep me over. Help. What do I do now? I have no little chick to protect and I can not keep a constant watch over her anymore. This is scary. What do I do with these skills I have fine tuned and perfected? What does the rest of my life look like now? Am I no longer Roxanne's mom? How does one revert back to pre-parenthood? How do I deal with these waves of depression? I would really like to hear from empty nesters. Is there a sub or board here?
@springappleblossoms
Hello there @springappleblossoms. Sorry to hear you are feeling bad.
Like you said, this low moment you are experiencing is something very specific and it's called empty nest syndrome.
You asked to hear from people experiencing the same, so I hope that someone having faced it, may reply and share their experience.
I've found scientific articles to share, they explain about it and how to cope. Hope it can help.
Take care.
@springappleblossoms
Hello empty nester,
The layers of adjustment to such a long-term role is not talked about enough in our society. There is not enough honoring of the major life-altering change that occurs. I went through such a rough time, for longer than I anticipated. I did try to go back to the pre-parent times in some ways, but that didn't work for me. After 18 years, I was more different than I realized. My old hobbies and interests were no longer relevant. Among other things I needed to grieve not only the loss of the everyday contact with my daughter, but the part of myself that had ended as a full-time care-giver.
I have found that those who feel the most pain after kids leave home are often folks who have a large & generous heart. Your loving maternalism may find a home in social justice work, environmental activism, or something simpler, like a new pet. The key is to find place to express all the love that has been left dangling. (Also, for me, long-neglected self-love, via better self-care was long overdue).
Hope you find some comfort soon,
Hugs,
Seven 🌝🌸💖