Is this how the other half is going to be?
I am 52. Divorced 17 years ago remarried 15 years ago. I don't like him at all right now. We are basically roommates. Sleep on separate sides of house. I lost my mom 5 months ago. And I can't bring myself to even talk about her. On top of that menopause has reared its ugly head. Got the hot flashes under control but I feel like I'm heading down a dark hole. I find no joy in anything. My body hurts so I don't want to do anything physical. My mind wants to but y body won't let me. So metes I just want to disappear.. no I'm not suiidal. I would never do that. But I don't think anyone would mss me. It isn't like I'm making a difference in this world.
@Sunshine118
Thank you for sharing your story. I am very sorry about your mom and I am certain she's in a better place now. I know life can be difficult with all the relationship stress and other ups and downs coming your way but you're not alone.
I know how it feels when the days don't seem to end and life isn't giving you a break which is why me and the rest of the community is here...every step of the way should you wish to reach out to me or anyone from the community.
You are so very strong. You are important and you are needed. Every day you're here, it makes a difference.
It doesn't have to be major or anything physical, even the small things count. It's the little accomplishments that go a long way. Recognize your strengths, persistence and endurance. Give yourself credit for doing the smallest of things such as just overcoming the hardships of today. I know you find no joy in doing anything and maybe that is how you've felt for a long time but don't let that get to you... Ignore the voice in your head and carry on, try to do what you previously enjoyed doing, whether it's listening to your favorite song or watching your favorite tv show or just staying the whole day in your favorite pair of pajamas. Let go of all expectations of how your life should be and I promise, it'll get better.
Sending you all my strength ❤️
@Alexa43
thank you. I needed to hear that. I am really trying. What I would give to let loose and really laugh and dance like no one is watching, but I'm too serious all the time. But maybe today I will just cut loose and not care. I may not even brush my hair and go out in public in my ripped up pained on comfy jeans. I think I'm going to take on the attitude of I'm 52 who cares and I dare you to say something to me. I think I might just find that laughter if I notice the other people thinking I lost my marbles but in reality I'm choosing me over evertyhthubg else .
@Sunshine118
Yes, go out and do not worry about anyone else, not even for a second!
Do what you like. Just be yourself, be comfortable with yourself and you'll see things with a whole different perspective.
So glad you feel like trying something different, you're very brave.
What a moving experience. I also lost my mom recently and if you would like to talk about it you can feel free to PM me. As for the other physical issues, it is awesome that you have the hot flashes under control! This is a great thing. Some women battle that for years. Lucky you! I am sorry that your current husband cannot be a part of the support system you need. The interesting thing is that you may also be grieving the loss of closeness in your current relationship. The grieving process is very different for each of us.
Here are a few suggestions for coping with the natural order of things, or when a parent dies:
1. Dont expect to be ready for the natural order of things; you wont be.
2. Never let anyone belittle this loss, make you feel guilty for grieving deeply, or hurry you through your grief. You are entitled to feel all of griefs intricacies and all of griefs intensity.
3. Grieving for a parent, like all grief, can be exhausting emotionally, physically and spiritually. Be kind to yourself.
4. This work of grief takes time; the process must not be hurried. And it is never entirely over.
5. Even as an adult, dont be surprised by feelings of abandonment and uncertainty that you experience.
6. After they are gone your parents will continue to be a part of your life, just in a different sense. You will always be their son or daughter.
7. Grief does not end. Rather grief comes and goes. And then it comes again.
8. If you feel the need, seek out support from others whove been there, a friend who cares, or a professional who can help guide you through the work of grief.
Source article: HuffPost
There are people here on this platform that can try to be a part of your support team. Please do not hesitate to reach out and utilize all of the resources available on this platform.
