Parenting Adults
This weekend we are going to be moving my 23 yr old oldest child from their university city back home. They just completed their bachelor degree on grants, scholarships and some student loans last year and seem to have been spiraling downward. They quit their job last summer right after graduating and have basically been sitting at home depressed & not really doing anything just running down their funds. Their current partner just got a job here and they broke up so now they have said they want to come back here too because they don't know what else to do aa they cant afford to live. I should also mention they just came out a couple of years ago as trans gender and has been transitioning from male to female. Recently has also been seeking a diagnosis of schizophrenia. They take so much medication it's alarming. My heart is broken for this kid who had such a promising and brilliant life in front of them and now just seems lost. We have two other children that while they are struggling financially seem to be building healthy lives and relationships. The irony that the one we thought would be the most successful is moving back into our basement by the two that struggled academically is not lost on any of us. So terrified for how this is going to work out and just want to give this kid some tough love but worried they will be even more lost to us than they are already. Few people know of the struggles we have been having with this oldest child and we are nervous of how they will be accepted back here too. I am sick with worrying and still trying to carry on with work and other responsibilities.
@enthusiasticNest1089
I hear your concern and worry for your oldest. It sounds like they have had a very difficult couple of years with the transitioning, depression and medication. It is commendable that they have managed to complete their bachelor degree despite all these additional challenges. Kudos to you for being that parent who stands by them when they're at such a low point. It must be especially hard since their life was expected to be sorted by this stage.
There is a time to fight and a time to recharge. They have fought incredibly hard the past couple of years on multiple fronts and are coming home with the degree accompanied with the transition. The rest of the success will follow too I hope, when they are able to regain focus on those aspects again. The very fact that they trust you to understand and are coming home to you when they don't know what to do, is a testament to your love for them.
Sending you much strength and positive vibes to be able to see this through with love and patience <3
@0m
Thank you for your support to the member! 😊
Thank you very much for these kind and uplifting words. We arrived to move my kid and were disappointed but not surprised to find nothing packed or ready to go. Our other 2 children came to help and we had to go rent a trailer but we got it done. We are exhausted but hopefully you are right and we can be a place to relaunch themselves and not slide further back. It has been good and re-affirming to receive this feedback to refocus myself. Very much appreciated. ✌️
@enthusiasticNest1089
Hello there @enthusiasticNest1089
@Om already said all i wanted to tell you, I can just add that you're not alone. I would hope you can find here some support when you feel too overwhelmed and low.
Don't forget to also try to have your me-time moments to care for yourself nicely, because you need to ''recharge your energy'' and mood in a positive way.
A friendly hug for you both ❤️
Thanks very much. You are so right. I appreciate this. 🙏