50's Plus Week-end Check in December 15-16

My week was hectic!! I also have a terrible cold🙁. I glad for the weekend to rest and feel better!!

My week was like any other. I'm glad it's over though, and hoping the coming week is better, or in the very least different. I don't know that I am looking forward to the holidays as much as I am looking forward to them being over with. I wish I could be more upbeat about them than that. I've always loved Christmas, but having my birthday the day before- a day that is for the most part ignored-kind of drags me down. I wish we had more to look forward to. I hear people grimace about the family and friends they have coming over that they will feed/entertain/tolerate and can't help but be a tad jealous. It's just the 3 of us and really, it's only my daughter and I.

My husband will do as he always does-spend the majority of the day in his room watching tv or sleeping, not saying a word to our daughter or I until he says, "Well, goodnight", when he disappears off to his room again for 8-10 hours of sleep. I would LOVE to have more people to cook for, to fuss over.

I will cook meal that for the 3 of us is too much, paste a smile on my face and watch as my daughter unwraps gifts, take pictures as she delights in the things she receives, act as everything is dandy, and then cry myself into a fitful 4 or 5 hours of sleep.

Yesterday I was able to force myself to leave the house. I did it for my daughter's benefit, but it is so hard. We went for a drive, tot he store and to Starbusk's to get her one of their holiday treats. She gets a kick out of it and I delight in knowing I can still do something to make her happy. But the entire time I am in panic mode, sweaty, heart racing, near tears, antsy, and anxious to just get back home. My prison.

for pinkiwi - I am so sorry that you have to go through that over the hilodays, and it sounds like most other days too. It makes me sad that your home feels like a prison - it should be your haven. It also sounds like your husband is sort od set in his ways and not likely to change. I am glad your daughter gives you some amount of joy, but I believe you deserve more. If cooking or baking makes you happy, is there any way you can share that gift with others - even if they can't come to your home? Maybe making a plate of something for a senior center, or shelter would make your day brighter. i'm not giving advice, just offering a suggestion that might lighten the havy load you carry. If you are panicked going out, you don't have to stay long . Know you are in my prayers right this minute.

As for me - I'm doing OK, although I don't even much care for Christmas other that the midnight Service. The frenzy wears me out but my kids are grown so I don't feel so obligated to do a lot of decorating and gift buying ect. My mother is in Assisted Living, and she insists on having the family get together exactly her way, even though my daughter already made some specials plans with her in mind. She has always been very controlling and she will be that way until she departs this life. I have to paste that smile you mentioned- kiwi- around her , but I don't have to stay long. I cant stand the negative mood- "woe is me" because she is actually very blessed. I will be glad when it is over too. I like routine with occasional surprises all year.

Thanks for opening up the question for us to share.

@BeyondTheInvisible

It was really dreadful. I got more abuse from my 30-year-old daughter and her boyfriend, which made me more determined to write them out of my life. My ex-husband, with whom I thought I had been reconciling, refused to take a side in this.even though the abuse has been so bad that I am considering legally disowning my daughter so she will have no right to make decisions for me or otherwise interfere in my life as I get older. Fortunately, my dad (my ex-husband says none of this is my dad'd business, btw) is supportive of my decision to do whatever is necessary to protect my safety and security.

My daughter has had severe behavioral problems her whole life. I am trying to make a stand in the name of my own interests. After all, no one else will. It is very difficult.

I went to my departments Christmas party. It was good. I left early because the music was so loud. The dinner was excellent and the conversations were good. Its hard for me to do that stuff. But that 1night I said yes. I said yes. And had a good time.

How was your week? Last week was pretty busy. Finals week here at the college, holiday party Wednesday, went out with girlfriend Tuesday. Lots of stuff.

Any plan for upcoming holidays? This year I go to visit all my relatives. They are all 450 - 550 miles away from where I live. Taking my girlfriend with me, she is excited about the whole thing as she has no family. We expect to have a grand time.

How is your mood? Getting better every day. Girlfriend and I were invited over for dinner last night. The woman was an excellent cook, best meal I've had in a while. That no doubt helps.