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I feel so guilty

User Profile: JH145
JH145 April 12th, 2021

My husband passed away suddenly two months ago. We'd been very happily married for over 17 years. I joined an FB group for fellow widows and widowers about a month ago to get support. One of the welcome messages was from a man who lost his wife two months before I lost my husband and for some reason it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I found an excuse to message him and we started chatting. Since then we message each other almost every day and we have friended on FB. He has told me he sees me as a friend but I feel that I want to see if in time it can go further and I feel so guilty. What is wrong with me? I only lost the love of my life two months ago! But I can't stop the way I feel. What do I do?

7
User Profile: likewatersw
likewatersw April 12th, 2021

Probably you love him less than you think you do 🤭

User Profile: asthrielle
asthrielle April 12th, 2021

Love don't have bounderies, if you love him then go. If you don't love him, then that means you just see him as a friend. But i think you should think first.

User Profile: amiableBlackberry92
amiableBlackberry92 April 12th, 2021

Dear JH , just go slow your vulnerable right now. ABB

User Profile: tealPenguin2518
tealPenguin2518 April 14th, 2021

There is no right or wrong way to behave or feel x

User Profile: niceMoon405
niceMoon405 April 26th, 2021

I think you can explore the friendship and slowly see where it leads with no guilt.

User Profile: CreativePetal214
CreativePetal214 April 27th, 2021

I think you should take it slow, be careful, but don't let others judgement affect your decisions. You deserve friendship and happiness just the same as anyone else. You will know what feels right and remember there are others out there willing to listen and provide support.

User Profile: Kiapan
Kiapan May 7th, 2021

I know this is a few days old, but I wanted to convey how sorry I am for your loss. As to your response to your unexpected circumstances, I'd like to suggest another way of looking at your situation.

Many times, it is those people who were loved the most, and who also loved the deepest, who connect to someone soon after being widowed. This has much more to do with one's capacity to love and be loved. It's a gift, in other words. Good marriages produce remarriages after widowhood.

So yes, be careful of course (duh, right?) - but don't feel guilty, and don't allow the uninformed opinions of others to intrude. Your husband would want his greatest love to be happy.