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Coping With Abandonment and the Fear of Abandonment

User Profile: comfortableNight4463
comfortableNight4463 November 13th, 2022

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"Many individuals suffer from feelings of abandonment either during or after intimate relationships. Some people with symptoms of borderline and other personality disorders suffer particularly intensely. Individuals who often feel abandoned sometimes express their pain as anger, such as lashing out, accusations or punishment.

The following three tools are designed to help individuals cope with feelings of abandonment without pushing others away.

Express Anger as Pain

People instinctively either back away or attack when confronted with anger, both of which are divisive and destructive to the relationship. Anger is always caused by the same underlying emotion: some type of pain. We get angry when someone has hurt us, is hurting us, or we expect will hurt us. In intimate relationships, the underlying pain should be expressed rather than the resultant anger. Once the pain is addressed, the anger will dissipate.

Learn to be happy alone

Long-term relief from experiencing feelings of abandonment can only be obtained by improving your relationship with yourself so that you can induce feelings of security and satisfaction without another person. The most effective way to achieve emotional autonomy is by practicing self-compassion.

  1. Replace beating up on yourself with soothing and healthy activities. When feeling lonely or disappointed, seek out pleasurable and healing activities rather than self-degradation or feeling sorry for yourself.
  2. Learn to enjoy activities that you are accustomed to doing with others alone. Learn how to derive joy and satisfaction when eating alone or exercising alone, etc. Bring your favorite music, or use the tranquility for meditation or rejuvenation."

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

What are your thoughts on the article?

#Abandonment #BorderlinePerosnalityDisorder #Coping

2
User Profile: Josh3889
Josh3889 November 23rd, 2022

@comfortableNight4463

Thank you for sharing & posting, I can see this helping a lot of people.

1 reply
User Profile: comfortableNight4463
comfortableNight4463 OP November 24th, 2022

@Josh3889 You're welcome. I hope it reaches those who may need it!

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