The need to end loneliness leaves us vulnerable.

Loneliness has two faces.

It can be a deadly enemy that hits you like a stone. But it can also be your best friend: the one who supports you in what you really want and who is by your side at all times.

Loneliness makes you think more deeply about what you want. We all need these moments of solitude. We need our space to be with ourselves. To think.

But the comfort zone prevents some people from experiencing those moments. Because they feel vulnerable and, therefore, they need other people by their side always. Simply to have someone to share their experiences with. Simply because of this fear of loneliness.

Did you stop going to the movies “because there's no one to talk to about the movie”? In fact, it's the excuse you find for not going it alone.

The need for company can confuse friendship with love.

Not having anyone to share experiences, feelings, sensations, doubts, small moments, etc. Not having someone hold your hand and say that everything will be fine. Who consoles you in moments of weakness and sadness. Who supports you when you make a decision. Who listens to you when you are talking about your next steps and who looks into your eyes with the depth of love.

When you've had something like that and lost it, it makes you miss it. When you never lived that, either. Because you miss the sensations that are produced in your body and the emotions that you feel just thinking about what you could have had.

Listen to your heart flutter, feel butterflies in your stomach because you're going to meet that person. You need to re-experience those emotions that are a reminder that you are not alone. And that need can cause you to replace your true feelings and cover them up and embellish them to feel the emotion of love.

You can even see yourself, for example, buying an expensive dress for your next date. To be extraordinarily sexy. Because that's what you would do with your real, original feelings. Because that's what you miss and you want to feel it again to feel alive. To realize you're still here. That everything can happen again. That everything is happening.

But, sooner or later, your mind will return to lucidity. Because even without meaning to, you will be putting obstacles in your way: “I just have to…”, “I just don't…”, “I just have to…”. Apologies that you make to silence your conscience and leave to someone else the responsibility for the fact that the relationship didn't work out.

So having emotional substitutes is not an option. The feelings you have about this person are made up and made up to feel real. And at the first sign of change, the paper tower you built will fall and everything will come crashing down.

Being completely and completely sure that a relationship will work is not possible. But having the complete and absolute certainty that you are putting all of yourself into making it work is possible. And you have to know if you're really being responsible for your life, if you're acting consistently when you enter a relationship out of necessity.

The need to escape loneliness breeds dependency.

Needing someone else's company creates dependency. An emotional dependence that undermines and destroys him as a person. There may come a time in your life when you are willing to pay the price to share your life with someone and not feel that loneliness. This price is part of the need you have.

It is possible to discard emotional dependence if both parties are fully aware of their relationship. We could say that it would be a relationship from the beginning. A relationship where 1+1=2, really. Two conscientious, sincere people, looking in the same direction and with the same goal. In fact, could we not say that this is love? Mature love, what is born with time.

In such a relationship, the phases of passion are not produced. Although it has an aspect of illusion because of the newness that your life appears to have, it is a phase where, apparently, you behave as you would in a real relationship, but knowing what the other person is really like.

A relationship like this, without the butterflies in your stomach, without the doubts about what you will find in the future, may not produce the same emotions as those of two people in love. In such a relationship, love has nothing to do with it. It requires maturity on both sides. Awareness of the need for each other. It's kind of like an affinity contract.

If you want a relationship like that, go for it. But don't try to disguise it as something else. Enjoy it the way it is.