How Embracing the Chaos Helps My ADHD

The result is that my typical workweek never looks too typical. Some weeks, I work seven days a week, for just a few hours each day. Some weeks, I cram the entire workload into two or three days of intense hyperfocus. Some days, I get tons of work done but completely neglect chores and social commitments. On other days, I seem to have limitless energy for chores or socializing but can’t sit still in front of the computer for more than a few minutes.

It looks messy, and I admit that, sometimes, I wish I could predict my weeks more reliably, but overall, the mess balances out in a way that I get enough done each week to stay happy, healthy, and employed.

Sticking to a Normal Routine Is Overrated

Before I knew I had ADHD, I had internalized the belief that the reason I couldn’t just “be normal” was that I was lazy, undisciplined, inadequate, reckless, and so on. When my psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD, I thought that would be the end of feeling ashamed and guilty for my symptoms. But that inner critic just revised the narrative to include an extra layer of shame for still not living up to the imagined ideal of “normal” even after I found effective treatment.

Normal is working 40 hours every week. Normal is adhering effortlessly to a more or less consistent routine day in and day out. Normal is sleeping eight uninterrupted hours every night. Normal is sitting still at a desk—a clean desk, in a silent office—and being able to focus for hours at a time, the same exact hours each day.

But then I began to learn that a lot of what our society deems normal isn’t really based on any biological reality. Even without ADHD, most people aren’t built for those norms. For example, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), the average U.S. worker spends 8.1 hours per day at work.1

However, a growing number of new studies and surveys show that employees are only productive for about three to four of those hours. Normal is working 40 hours every week. Normal is adhering effortlessly to a more or less consistent routine day in and day out. Normal is sleeping eight uninterrupted hours every night. Normal is sitting still at a desk—a clean desk, in a silent office—and being able to focus for hours at a time, the same exact hours each day.

But then I began to learn that a lot of what our society deems normal isn’t really based on any biological reality. Even without ADHD, most people aren’t built for those norms. For example, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), the average U.S. worker spends 8.1 hours per day at work.1

Why Destigmatizing Chaos Can Make Managing ADHD Easier

Many people with ADHD have dealt with years of feeling inadequate, hopeless, and lazy because they know a routine would make their days more organized, but they continuously fail to maintain them. When we compensate for lack of routine in atypical ways—like waiting until the last minute and then using hyperfocus to power through—we are often told that we’re wrong. We shouldn’t do it this way. We should do it the way everyone else does it.

That stigma pressures us to conform to a standard that doesn’t fit us, and increasingly, studies are starting to show that this may not even be necessary or useful. A growing body of research suggests a strengths-based approach to ADHD treatment and management may be more useful than trying to force people with ADHD to behave as if they did not have ADHD.

Sure, procrastination can end up forcing you to cram multiple days of work into one day later on. But for people with ADHD, the higher stakes of cramming everything into that one day can help us unlock hyperfocus. Plus, knocking out a few random tasks that you’d struggle to find motivation for otherwise can save you that stress later.

Maybe I won’t make as much progress on a project today as I’d hoped but as long as it’s not overdue, I might as well lean into this sudden urge to re-caulk the bathtub because when else am I going to do it?

The chaos that results from this approach might look messy, but it can end up being less exhausting than the frustration of repeatedly failing to maintain a consistent routine. Our days don't have to look "normal." They just have to work for us."

*Our society has come from a long history of wanting everyone to fit into this mold that isn't created for everyone. We all have different brains and we all may require a little bit of difference in our routines, which is fine! I never understand why we want everyone to fit into the same boxes because then our world would be very boring. We should celebrate differences and encourage people to be different. As the article stated, as long as the work is getting completed on time and correctly, why should anyone care how or when it's done? I think having differences allows for new perspectives and ideas! I don't see how there's anything wrong with us. Therefore, celebrate who you are and don't be afraid to do things how you need them done! What are you proud of that makes you different?❤️*

#ADHD #Differences #Perspective

Please find the full article at Very Well Mind!

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