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Need to get my life together (executive dysfunction)

User Profile: bl0khed
bl0khed January 7th

Hello, all. I'm at a loss and I don't know where to turn. Any and all non-medical help/advice/life experiences would be appreciated.

For context, I am currently attending a military academy. It's proven to be a unique setting that makes it hard to get support. Needless to say, I'm under constant scrutiny as are my peers, making everything worse. I am undiagnosed but "heavily suspected" by my physicians to have ADHD, primarily due to my worsening executive dysfunction described below and anxiety/depression (less relevant to this, with all three described on my official records as an adjustment disorder to protect my career). I tried meds some time ago (Bupropion, Setraline) and they had no effect/made everything worse and I stopped a while ago.

With that being said, I'm near commissioning (<2 years), ​and yet that is becoming increasingly unlikely. Long story short, I'm quite gifted academically (when I decide to work, usually though I'm able to slide by with Bs or better), militarily (when self confidence or lack thereof is cooperative), but I'm athletically deficient, me being too far in to change my average to be grad-eligible without high scores.

My institution has a very difficult physical test, at least for me without constant work. As I've grown worse over time with executive dysfunction despite the stakes of not having a THING on the​ outside/risking being placed in hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt if I don't graduate, my commision has begun to be put at risk as a result of this deficiency.

I have a good shot at MAYBE making it if I stay strict now on my routine with my tests next month, but it would require getting my highest scores ever even if it did work. How can I work through this? I've done so many crazy hard things, but this paralyzes me. It can't all be for nothing. I'm simultaneously crazy driven but super lazy. I can elaborate as needed in the comments, but this is long enough as is. Thank you for listening.

1
User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 January 7th

@bl0khed

It's clear you have alot on your plate.

And that comes with it's own stresses and pressure.

But you've also achieved so much already, to be immensely proud of.

It's hard not to worry about the final outcome.

But you can only do your best.

It might help to break things down into small and consistent daily tasks to allow you to get through it all.

Genuinely, good luck 💚

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