A Strange Paradox with ADHD Masking
Hi, I wanted to share a story... I noticed that I have social anxiety, and it’s been affecting my quality of life. I recently found myself in a situation where I needed money, so for the first time in my life, I had to take a job dealing directly with people..
So, I figured it was time to finally work on my social issues.
I started analyzing my behavior and realized that whenever I meet people, I get anxious and my body tenses up involuntarily. That physical discomfort is exactly what negatively impacts those interactions.
I decided to become hyper-aware of this, actively trying not to tense up and focusing on keeping my muscles relaxed when I'm out! The strange part is that my close friends noticed the exact opposite result when I tried this... They told me my face looked like I was ready to punch someone.
My theory is that the physical tension was actually a result of ADHD masking and my constant struggle to hold it together. Once I allowed myself to just be me and drop the mask entirely... all that heavy internal struggle just showed up right on my face.
I honestly don't know what the solution is to improve my social skills now.
@happylook
It's important to not over analyse and overthink things.
It's hard for alot of people to be social at the best of times
Being hyper vigilant just stops you being present and letting people get to know you.
Just be you.
Be courteous.
And people will more times than not recognise that 💛
Instead of answering I was thinking I could just listen to you one day if you need.
If it helps I also struggle with ADHD. I would say mine isn't super intense like other people's, but I understand how hard it is.
I haven't yet completed the course that help me to be a better listener but I'm trying to. I may begin volunteering with this.
Very interesting article.. thanks for sharing and being open about this vulnerabilites. I hope this community helps you to heal and grow much more that the growth I see you pushing right now with all this new decisions you taking.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Reading your response brought me a huge sense of mental relief; I felt seen and validated in my experience, and truly appreciated for the effort I'm trying to put in.
Thank you as well for your empathy and for being so willing to listen.