CPTSD anxiety and absorption emotions of others
Sorry for the vent.
I had a very difficult childhood with a narcissistic mother who used to harm myself and siblings for financial gain.
Being the oldest and a daughter it was my responsibility to predict behaviour and danger to protect myself and my siblings.
My gift/value was my ability to think about things from every angle until a solution could be found. That’s how I kept us safe.
As an adult who is now a mother herself I struggle with ruminating and overthinking in an attempt to predict and save my loved ones. Problem is that now they are older their problems are not always things I can predict or prevent.
There is not always solutions.
I recently started a new medication (Venlafaxine) and am struggling with the adjustment period.
I am absorbing the anxieties and stresses of the people around me and I don’t know if I can bear it anymore.
I feel my husbands stress about work/finances.
My teen daughter is currently going through her first horrible breakup and my heart is broken for her. I can’t do anything about it.
I cared a lot about this boy too as they have been together a long time and we got quite attached. I feel like I’m grieving.
I feel so helpless and like my only value is my ability to think and solve issues.
@MBear5
Your only value is not to think and solve issues!
Your value is as a wonderful wife and mother who cares.
Who loves.
Who listens.
Who is there, through it all.
You are a kind person, who despite being through so much horrible experiences herself, shows empathy and carries other people's pain.
Your feelings matter too 💚
You are doing your best 💚
Dammnnn….. I can relate and empathize and I see your hurt.
I was raised by illegal immigrants in a household Full of love and un diagnosed mental health issues. To prevent harm to me and my siblings, they try to protect us and told us all the worst case scenario but with a kid that has ADHD and PTSD, It’s starting to actually manifest negatively in my 40. Yes, I’m the oldest child too ( we need a support group)
I just got off venaflaxinee and now I’m on seroquel. Still not the best, but less ideations . There are days where I hate this place🌎 and there are days where joy is pouring over.
I’ve always absorbed the emotions of others, and I didn’t know the words for a really long time. Actually, my therapist told me that I very very “self aware”. My skin has flares, and scars, and my sleep gets disturbed when it’s too much.
Sorry to hear about your daughter. Break up so hard and another thing we have in common. My brother was cheated on a week before the holidays. This *** bought a house with him and even agreed to all the upgrades while the infidelity was happening. When he found out about the news, he went to the hospital for a panic attack. He’s physically OK, but emotionally destroyed. I totally resonate with with this level of pain because even though he was betrayed, so it was the rest of us. They were together for four years and we had to cancel secret Santa because she was a part of it. Sooo 2025 was ghetto on many fronts.
I have the same thoughts I feel helpless and angry and betrayed and want to stop being nice to people because you end up getting hurt anyways. I guess it’s that older protective childhood trait that keeps activating because fairness is no longer common or frankly appreciated.
This was a really long vent, but literally what you were writing me exactly what I was /am going through. It’s hard to keep grieving, Smiling feels like you’re pretending.
I focus a lot on reading the Bible and focusing on past history to show me how to get through these waves and try to better handle my enemies
All best in the journey
