Help

 Hello @humorousTalker7690,

I may not have ADHD myself but one of my siblings does — and I’ve seen up close how overwhelming and emotionally intense it can be so I just want to say: the fact that you’re showing up for your kids even while struggling with your own (possibly undiagnosed) ADHD already says a lot about your strength and love.

I can’t claim to fully understand what it’s like to be in your shoes but I’d love to share a few things that I’ve learned from supporting my sibling — small changes that might make life feel a bit more manageable.

1. Visual reminders - My sibling used to say ADHD is literally like "out of sight, out of mind". So for not forgetting things, make sure there are visible visual cues. Colour coded checklists, sticky notes or visual calendars help reduce the mental load. Your kids can see what they need to do instead of holding it all in their heads.

2. Break down the tasks - Make tasks as specific and simple as possible. Instead of saying “do your homework"  try breaking it down for them step by step. Like -- “Take out your math textbook.”
“Turn to page 23.”
“Do all the sum questions on that page.”

Blanket instructions like “do ur homework” can feel overwhelming to them. Try giving clear, direct steps helps them know exactly what to do and it will reduce the mental load of figuring it out on their own.

3. Be with them while they do tasks -  Just being in the same room while they do tasks helps them focus like sitting nearby while they do homework even if you’re not actively helping.

4.  When they’re spiraling or shutting down... gently say things like “This feels like overwhelm — should we take a pause?” It helps them feel understood and safe not punished for reacting. Also i is important to just let them stim. Let them fidget. Bouncing, walking around, doodling — it’s not distraction, it’s regulation. Build that into their routine. Breaks are necessary.

5. This one is very important, I call it soft transitions-  Give them warnings before switching tasks like “5 more minutes before we tidy up” or “want to finish this level before lunch?” It reduces resistance and panic.

Also try to create Safe Zones that doesnt feel overwhelming - A cozy corner or quiet space with low light, blankets or headphones can give them a reset zone when emotions spike.

Now my message to you -

You are managing not just their needs but also your own....likely with fewer tools and less support than you deserve. And the  Emotional burnout from ADHD is real — especially if it’s undiagnosed and unmanaged.

Start small for yourself too. Try using timers or the Pomodoro technique to chunk your day (even 10 minutes of focus, 5 min break)

Use voice notes or brain dumps when you’re too overwhelmed to journal.

And there are may ADHD friendly tools that help you organise and learn. 

Give yourself grace. If you can’t meal prep, cereal’s fine. If the laundry piles, you’re still a good parent. Every system that works for your kids should also work for you — it’s okay to co-regulate with them.

Community helps. Even joining a quiet online ADHD parent group can give you ideas and comfort — you’ll see you’re neurodivergent and trying to parent through it.

Also there are so many books and podcasts from qualified people out there. Try to learn as much as you can.

Take care<3