I AM SAD

People often say that family is a shelter—a place to return to when times get hard—but for me, "home" is simply the place I long to go back to. While family is often associated with peace, mine is defined by chaos and tears. Lacking love at home, I sought it in a young man, hoping to finally feel what it was like to be loved. I truly wished for someone who would love me back with a sincere heart. Instead, those I loved didn’t return my feelings; they chose to toy with my emotions, playing games with my heart. Failing in both my family life and my romantic life has left me feeling profoundly alone. I yearn for someone to hold me close and say, "Go ahead and cry; I’m right here with you." I am so, so tired. How I wish I could just speak my mind and let my true emotions show! Instead, I have to hide how I really feel, forcing myself to appear strong and composed—all the while, I am slowly crumbling apart, day by day. I cling to a faint, unrealistic hope that, perhaps, I might find happiness in the future. I am terrified that one day, I will lose even that last shred of hope and simply let go. For most, the age of 18 is the most beautiful and joyful time of life; for me, it is filled only with sorrow and pain.