I’m scared about my future

@Niikkii1

 I hope that not many people are trying to comfort you my telling you that you'll win a lot of money, although, I'd be happy if you did. It sounds like you interpret the comment, "I believe in you," as burdensome because it feels like other people's expectations may be too much. When I say "I believe in you," what I mean is that I believe that you are doing your best.

Comparing self to others rarely works out very well. No two of us are alike. It's even more problematic if the comparing relates to material gains. After all, it may take far more persistence and commitment to bring in a paycheck than it does for a millionaire to buy the latest and greatest new thing.

When it comes to school, the same thing applies. For some, math comes easily. For others, like me, with both ADHD and dyslexia, math is really hard. Therefore, I believe I take as much pride in a passing grade in algebra as someone else might for getting an A in calculus.

Feeling the need to compete with others, especially if they have different skills, isn't very helpful either, nor is comparing income levels.

I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until entering my third year of college. Between ADHD, dyslexia, and PTSD, I wasn't very functional academically as a child in school. In fact, I was removed from school. In those days, any kind of learning disability or neuro- divergence fell under the umbrella term "***." Subsequent evaluations revealed a decent IQ, but I continued to fail most classes until I dropped out at age 15, then a short time later, started taking adult classes.

Eventually, I figured out some compensations for ADHD and even got dyslexia. PTSD was no longer much of an issue, as apparently the trigger was having to attend day classes with students my own age, so my grades improved immediately when I started adult classes.

After my diagnosis, the school helped out with giving me distraction free areas for test taking. I also started experimenting with different ways of studying.

Long story short, I consider myself successful, even though it took me an extra 20+ years to get there. I never got rich, but I'm okay financially. I've also touched a lot of lives in positive ways. I live in a tiny little house. It's in good shape and paid for. If I were to compare myself with either of my brothers, it would appear that I was least successful. However, both of them would admit that I'm far more content than they are.

Let your sisters be as successful as they want.

Define your own goals for success, and because they are your own, accomplishing them will be evidence of your own success.

Goalsetting works best by establishing realistically achievable daily goals. Accomplishing them builds confidence. Even the most spectacular long-term goals can only be accomplished by reaching achievable daily goals. Daily goals can be broken down into very short-term tasks, within time frames between minutes and hours.

Once upon a time, there were some workers laying bricks. A little girl asked one worker, "what are you doing?" The worker said, "can't you see, I'm laying bricks!" The girl walked over to another worker, and asked the same question. This worker said "I'm building a cathedral."

The strategy of successful goalsetting is to recognize the moment to moment application of "bricks," while at the same time envisioning with the activity will accomplish.