Im tired. Scared..
I have been taking medication for depression, anxiety, and ADHD since 2019. Im 23y now. Right now, I feel completely overwhelmed and so tired. I've always been terrified of failure because I never failed an exam as a kid. However, during my AL exam period, I was severely bullied, suffered a lot, and didn't make it.
Even though 5 years have passed and I've tried many other things, that failure still haunts me. I have nightmares about being unloved and feeling like I have nobody. My own parents favor my sister a lot and treat me like a burden.
I am supposed to take my AL exams again in 40 days, but I haven't been able to study anything. I am so scared and tired.
@diligentCat8959
😔
I'm sorry you were bullied 💙
You didn't deserve that
One failed exam doesn't decide your worth.
You matter as much as your sister 💚
Good luck with your exam.
It's important to break study into small and manageable pieces so you see progress and take the pressure off yourself 💙
It is incredibly heavy to carry the weight of ADHD paralysis while feeling like a burden to the people who should be supporting you. But please remember: you aren’t failing right now; you are just completely depleted. Trying to force yourself to study when your nervous system is in a constant state of terror is like trying to drive a car with an empty fuel tank.
The most important thing to internalize is that your worth as a human being is not tied to an exam score, nor is it defined by how your family treats you. If the exams happen in 40 days and you aren't ready, it is not the end of your story.
For today, stop fighting the books and give yourself permission to drop the guilt. Focus entirely on lowering your anxiety and taking care of your basic needs. Be gentle with yourself; you are doing the best you can under immensely difficult circumstances.
Hey, I understand the desire and the want for a better life and it dropping off. Reaching out is huge and is a strong approach. Jesus is the one who gives you life whether you notice it or not. Truly reach for Him; Pray to Him and seek Heaven: for He wants to have a relationship with you and grow your faith in Him. People lose sight of Him leaning on their own "knowledge". You are loved deeply. Feel free to contact me.
Hey, I understand the desire and the want for a better life and it dropping off. Reaching out is huge and is a strong approach. Jesus is the one who gives you life whether you notice it or not. Truly reach for Him; Pray to Him and seek Heaven: for He wants to have a relationship with you and grow your faith in Him. People lose sight of Him leaning on their own "knowledge". You are loved deeply. Feel free to contact me.
@diligentCat8959
I hear you (i also have ADHD) , and I am so incredibly sorry you are carrying all of this right now. i want u to remember to take a slow, deep breath. It makes complete sense that you feel so exhausted and overwhelmed dealing with depression, anxiety, and ADHD is already a full-time job, let alone trying to study while feeling like you're walking through a ghost story of your past.
First, please know that you are NOT a burden, no matter what your parents' actions make you feel. Failing that exam during a time when you were being severely bullied wasn't a reflection of your intelligence or your worth—it was a reflection of a kid trying to survive a really cruel environment. It is completely okay that you still carry wounds from that.
With 40 days left, your brain is likely paralyzed by fear because it’s trying to protect you from being hurt again. Instead of looking at the whole exam, can you give yourself permission to just look at today? Even if you can only look at one page, or one summary note for 10 minutes, that is a victory. Your worth as a human being is not tied to a test score. U are great! Please be gentle with yourself
