Social cues
As someone who was diagnosed rather late with ADHD, it was brought to my attention that I kind of suck at reading social cues. It takes a lot of reminding to myself to rein it in when people tell me verbally a few times in subtle ways to watch myself. Is there anything out there that I can use to help me learn social cues that are quick and efficient? I get it takes practice but what tools can I use to practice? Any help or advice is welcomed.
@eunoia96
What do they mean by watch yourself? And who tells you this?
@communicativeCar962
Just wondering, because it is important on who it comes from.
they tell me to be nice. Multiple times. And my coworkers who are more forthcoming with their words. They don’t out right say watch yourself but it’s implied (I think at least)
@eunoia96
Hm do you have any example? Sorry, just want to make sure I'm giving the right advice. 😂
I was frustrated that my coworker wasn’t doing her job that she should know, I pointed out that it’s common sense and not that difficult. My other coworker told me to be nice. I think I missed the social cue that I should let it go? Like I’m missing it in the moment and not getting it until after I’m being reminded to be nice several times.
@eunoia96
How's your relationship with the other co-worker? I would say think about what you say before you say it. For example, if you think it is something that you wouldn't like to hear yourself then don't say it. Or ...if you say something, remember that it is how you say it. If you say it and realize that it probably sounded mean , then you could easily take it back. In this case, I don't think you were entirely wrong. We are all like that in different ways. If thinking about it doesn't work for you, then try to pay attention to people's faces after you say certain things. Check for visible sadness, frustration, or happiness. DON'T OVERTHINK PEOPLE REACTIONS AND MAKE YOURSELF A PEOPLE PLEASER. That's what I do sometimes and people walk over me 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️. An example would be sharing an idea and taking it back because I can visibly tell someone doesn't like it. Sorry if it doesn't make sense. But I'm working on social cues still also. If that doesn't make sense, let me know.
I’m struggling with some coworkers because they’re harder to read or newer to the company. I try to think of what I’m going to say before I say it but sometimes my mouth works faster than my brain. Or it’s in the moment and they need an answer right away. It makes sense but how do you take it back after it hurts someone else’s feelings? I try to give people a heads up that I have adhd, it helps a bit but they forget too.
is it just me or do other people also need like flash cards to remember to practice and help learn social cues?
@communicativeCar962
Hmm. Just a simple apology. Like "I apologize for what I said earlier" or something like that. If they don't accept your apology, they aren't really open-minded people. Yeah... it really does depend on the person, especially since there is new people. Again, I would say pay attention to the face. That's how I do it. You can study body language but body language is unique to every individual and you still have to understand the person. For the flashcards, I don't think it's just you. I read books on human behavior and take notes, it's just that instead you do flashcards.