40’s jack of many trades fomo crisis
Hi there,
I feel like I’m having a midlife crisis I’ve realized. A few months ago I ended a relationship and got laid off my job at the same time. I do not have a degree I do not have any children. Where do I go from here?
I’ve definitely thought about going back to school. Unfortunately, the degrees that interest me the most do not have good job prospects as far as supporting myself financially. I am old enough to realize this. The degrees that will make me financially secure, will take many years of full-time study, which I feel isn’t a realistic option for me to survive.
I have many hobbies and interests, but not enough experience with any of them to make a career that will automatically flourish and support me now. Do I just take any job that will give me the money to live yet again or do I pursue a career connected to one of my interests. I feel so lost. I feel very motivated but unmotivated at the same time. I guess it’s a feeling of overwhelming options. I can’t see a clear path. In someways, my wish list seems childish to me (a dreamer that wants it all but is running out of time) & on the other end I know that to live and die, unhappy and unfulfilled would be a terrible thing.
Every time I think I have some idea figured out other thoughts dreams goals come flooding in to distract me from starting down that path. Ive made a million lists, asked myself a million questions….How do I focus? How do I make a decision? How do I figure out which direction to start walking in? What am I missing?
Thanks for listening ~
@lavenderMoon8189 Hello Lavender, that's a rough situation to find yourself in. I am of the same opinion about life and death, you do not want to be unfulfilled.
One time, I had to call an "I want to end myself" hotline. I was really considering this, and my old military buddy told me if I was at that point, then I had to promise to call. So I called, only to uphold my promise.
The worker at the other end asked me some interesting questions. I told her that I have always felt unloved and unwanted. She asked me what I did in life that gave me a feeling of accomplishment, and I told her that it was working with others. She asked, "Do you think you'd feel fulfilled even if you never felt love or friendship?" and I said, "You know what, I would. I would feel fulfilled even without that."
And that was the moment I realized that the external stuff, the approval and so on, that wasn't as important to me as my own personal sense of fulfillment.
So I will ask you a similar question: what do you think will make you fulfilled, and then how do you think you can achieve it?
For me, a sense of helping others, especially those in poverty or with mental illness, is really important to me. I'm working on a Master's degree in Psychology right now, just one course at a time because I have a full-time job so I can't be a full-time student. Maybe that's an option for you, taking one course at a time. But if I wasn't employed, I would be volunteering abroad in an impoverished region. Maybe that's an option for you, to find your fulfillment abroad where the laws and access to your fulfillment may be different from where you are now. I started teaching without a degree because I moved to a country that allowed that. I love what I do. I have even taken a pay cut to do it. I love it. I am disabled from my military service, so I don't need to work because the government will pay me to stay home...but I find the work so fulfilling that I choose to do it.
Since you have no ties to where you are, maybe this is the best option for you? You can explore the world, find yourself, and figure out where to go from there.
Hi LavenderMoon,
Its life starting all over at the bottom again and nowhere to look, but straight up. You feel the loss and worrisome of what to do when you are back here at the age you are now. You stated that you have made your lists and have your hobbies and your to do lists, but still feel that there is something missing in your life. What is it? What do I do from here? Where can I go from this point in my life?
I have an answer to your question. You are here at 7cups not by chance, but by a divine intervention. You were led here to help with answers and for support with your thoughts. We are here to listen. We cannot give you the advice you may seek, but we are here to support your decision.
I honestly feel that what is missing is the who you are asking these questions to. Are you asking God and praying for answers? or are you trying to do this yourself? You have the support you need here and from God. We have to dig deep sometimes for the answers we want, or do you already know the answers to your questions? Food for thought... What do you think?
@lavenderMoon8189 I know what you mean. I don't know if this is helpful advice, but weirdly, I've found that even seemingly unrelated fields can be SO HELPFUL for gaining a fresh perspective/skills in another field.
Examples: I used work in a creative field, and as part of that, I used to put on big events. I then went into healthcare. I used my knowledge of how to organise a big event, to host some events for people with special needs.
My friend is a scientist (can't remember what kind...) and she is going into urban planning. Her scientific experience has made her really switched on to all sorts of eco-friendly materials - she's really able to think outside the box in that respect.
Sorry they're pretty vague examples for privacy reasons but you get what I mean. Nothing is wasted knowledge or experience!
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