How to Overcome the Pain of Job Rejection

“Looking for work is stressful. Facing layoffs or getting rejected after several interviews hurt. It’s hard to remain optimistic and motivated after multiple rejections. Many develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, and physical complaints (Linn, M.W. et al., 1985). On a positive note, you can learn how to cope better and maintain motivation with five simple tips.

1. Find the pearl

In every agitating or painful experience, we can find a pearl of wisdom if we look for it. Cognitive psychologists recognize that all our thoughts are interpretations of experience, not the absolute truth. When we reframe events as positive or neutral, we change our emotional response. That simple reframe can change the emotional experience of rejection and help us to keep moving forward.

2. Reward yourself

Looking for a job can feel like a punishing experience. We look at the prize, getting the job, as the reward for all the work. Instead, providing ample rewards for all your job-hunting efforts is best. Apply for a job, then give yourself a break to have fun. Go through your 4th interview, then take a friend to dinner to celebrate your effort. Rewarding yourself for effort, not outcome, helps you maintain motivation and momentum.

3. Try something new

Job hunting is tedious and laborious. Studies show that seeking outside help can widen your perspective and improve results. Research job search strategies, interview skills, and goal-setting tips. Seek support from others for encouragement and fresh approaches. Trying something new generates a bit of healthy hope to spur you forward (Liu, S. et al. 2014).

4. Consider "the mustard effect"

Master writing coach Marni Freedman shared a story from her career as a Hollywood writer. The casting department advocated for a talented actor they knew could play a role brilliantly. The director went to lunch and spilled mustard on his new tie right before he was to audition the brilliant actor. Irritated and distracted, he passed on the talented actor. The casting director coined the term “the mustard effect” to explain why talented people sometimes don’t get the job. Extraordinary candidates often do not get picked for reasons unrelated to qualifications or how well they perform in the interview. Sometimes it’s not about you at all. Don’t take it personally. It’s just the mustard effect.

5. Grieve with positive intention

It’s normal to feel all the feelings of distress. Recognize that grief is a healthy and normal emotion. It will pass. Aim your intention at self-care, not self-destruction. You can learn and grow from your job-hunting experiences. After each disappointment, do something kind for yourself. Eat well, exercise, sleep, socialize, and play. It’s just another day. Tomorrow offers hope for success.”

Read the whole article at Psychology Today

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