Hard time finding a sense of purpose and direction

Hello everyone, I hope you’re doing well.

Let me briefly share my story.

I graduated in 2024. At the time, I thought life after university would be relatively easy, since I had very clear ideas about what I wanted to do next. I enrolled in a school of philosophical counseling, and I loved putting into practice what I was learning on this platform. At the same time, I took a year to apply for PhD programs in my country, which was my main ambition.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go well. I was forced to face the reality that, at least in my country, getting accepted into a PhD program is extremely difficult. I felt betrayed and abandoned by my own God. It was a very hard period: I had to face my worst fears — fear of failure and a deep sense of confusion. I didn’t know what to do with my life, and I didn’t want to sacrifice myself to a job I didn’t believe in just to earn money and feel “useful”. Still, deep down, I ended up feeling useless anyway.

Last October, I started looking for new potential supervisors, and I found one quite easily. She was very kind and enthusiastic, and this month I’ll be applying for funding. However, since scholarships are very competitive even here, I’m afraid of failing again — and of reliving that same feeling of “betrayal”.

I never thought that trying to do what you love could be this hard. So now I’m trying to prepare myself and let things unfold a bit.

Listening to people on 7cups has always given me a strong sense of purpose and deep satisfaction, even though the issue of money has always been in the back of my mind. I’m almost 27, I still live with my parents, and this month I’ll finish my training in philosophical counseling. I don’t feel ready to promote myself on social media yet, but I do feel that I have something to offer. I’ve seen it through my experience as a Listener.

I feel that even receiving a small amount of money could help me regain a sense of direction and purpose, and maybe make the fear of failing to get PhD funding a little less painful.

If you have any advice (platforms, ideas, or anything else), or even just something kind to say, I’m open to listening :)

I hope this doesn’t violate the guidelines.