Trying to hold everything together

Hi everyone,

This is my first time posting here, and I’m not even sure if this is the right category. I’m also sure there are already many posts about burnout, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed. But I still wanted to write this, and I’m grateful for anyone who takes the time to read or respond.

Right now, I’m in a really difficult mental and emotional place.

Two years ago, I started a startup with my partner. Eventually, he no longer had the time or capacity to continue, but I decided to keep going because I truly believe in the project. The problem is that the business is still not profitable, and I’ve had to take on multiple jobs at the same time just to financially support both myself and the company.

I work extremely long hours, often around 12 hours a day, and at the end of the month I still barely have anything left because most of the money goes back into the business or basic living expenses. Friends and family have also invested money into this project, which adds another layer of pressure and guilt.

I know building something takes time, and I’ve accepted that progress is slow. But mentally, I feel like I’m collapsing under the weight of it all.

I constantly feel behind. Tasks pile up faster than I can handle them. I put enormous pressure on myself and have extremely high expectations, to the point where it’s becoming impossible to function normally anymore. Sometimes it honestly feels like something inside me is blocking me from succeeding, even though I’m trying so hard.

What hurts even more is that I feel very emotionally alone in all of this. My partner avoids serious conversations about the company or emotional topics in general because he experiences them as stressful. I think what I need most is simply someone asking me how I’m doing, reassuring me that things will eventually be okay, or making me feel less alone in this struggle.

Lately, I’ve started feeling symptoms that genuinely scare me. Brain fog, exhaustion, inability to focus, anxiety, poor sleep, emotional numbness. Today, for example, I spent almost the entire day in bed because I was so exhausted after another sleepless night that I simply stopped functioning.

I’ve also completely stopped taking care of myself. I stopped exercising, stopped cooking, stopped doing things that made me feel like a person. My entire life became work, responsibility, survival, and taking care of other people while hoping to receive some emotional support back.

Now I mostly live between existential fear, fear of failure, financial stress, and emotional exhaustion.

The frustrating part is that I already know a lot of the “theory.” I’ve read books, listened to podcasts, tried techniques, and even went to therapy. Intellectually, I understand burnout and anxiety. But somehow I still can’t seem to apply the things I know in a way that actually helps me get better.

I think the reason I’m writing this is because I don’t want to feel so alone anymore. And maybe there’s someone here who has gone through something similar and found something that helped — something I haven’t seen or tried yet.

Thank you for reading.