Depressed Boyfriend
Hi my ldr boyfriend has depression and he's not being himself anymore we've known each other for 3 years and I'm not happy what do I do. He lives in England and I live in Australia. Timezones were never a problem until he stopped putting in effort.
He has never let his depression affect me until a few weeks ago he has been emotionless and very uninterested in me. Its his natural defence mode so he doesn't have to deal with his emotions. I feel very helpless, insignificant, unloved.
I already told him how I feel but he ends up just blaming himself. I asked to call him and he asks to call me but he always bails because he's fallen asleep or is at work or I'm at university. I don't know if I deserve to support him through this. I can't do anything for him. But I know he still loves me, he just can't control his depression.
He's visiting me for a week or two in April and July this year. But I don't know if that will fix or change anything. Hes visited me 8 times for a week or more within 3 years. We made plans to marry in the future but I'm still young. I'm 20 he's 28.
Should I stay or do we give each other space?
@specialuniverse Admittedly it's a little tough, but think about yourself first in this relationship. It's not selfish, it's necessary self-care. You are not obliged to stay with your boyfriend because of his mental illness, but I understand you are already doing everything in your ability to help him. You could share resources on depression with him, and encourage him, but you're not responsible for "rescuing" him from his depression. If it gets too emotionally draining I suggest having a good talk with him and reminding him that it's not his fault, and reconsidering if you will be okay staying in the relationship. All the best.
