Feeling better but the sense of foreboding never leaves.
I have just made the realization that I will be dealing with this for the rest of my life. My life will always be tumultuous. I will be good for a while and it will come back out of nowhere.
How can I ever be Happy when I can't trust my own emotions. How do I know if I can deal with it forever. What if I just wake up one day and decide I can't. I feel ok now. Like Hopeful that one day I can find a medicine that makes it easier, but what if I don't.
What if I just have to deal with this forever. This is my reality and it sucks.
@Iluvcrack But what if you don't? I feel like life is not as black and white as our thoughts make them to be. What if I am depressed forever? What if.....? It is relatable and I myself fall prey to thinking in these terms many times, but even if you have depression in the future, it is okay. Okay in the sense you will also have the days like now when you feel better, and everyone will never be able to be happy all the time and that's okay. We don't have to run away from our sufferings or sadness because these are valuable in their own way. And maybe you're still scared and that's okay, jusr remember a couple bad days, months, or years does not mean a bad life.
@Iluvcrack like everything: it has a reason, usually low self esteem that becomes chronic, please find the root of the problem and finally be ok with your life i hope the best really