Life is a lie

I've been really low lately. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I try not to let them consume me and I feel like I have managed it pretty well all these years. The problem is, I've been taking sleeping pills for the past 10 years because I cant shut off my brain to sleep on my own. I constantly overthink. I express my feeling to my husband and he says he understands but I feel he just doesnt. I even tell him what I need to hear and he may say it one day but forgets or something to continue asking me if I'm okay. I have no self confidence and I think about how my family's life would be so much better without me here. I need my husband's emotional support but he just doesn't provide it. He is a great dad and husband otherwise, just not as a emotional supporter. I need to hear him tell me I'm pretty because I hope that I will believe it one of these days. I wish he would just ask me if I'm okay without me having to tell him to ask me. I sometimes even bluntly tell him I am not okay. He is lost for words. His silence kills me because I feel he doesnt care to say anything or I'm just crazy and he hope this will just go away. I even look up articles for him to read to understand what I'm going through. I feel I deserve attention from my husband but I fear I have to get this emotional support from someone else. What do I do?