Stressed and Depressed

How can someone who claims to love you put you through so many ups and downs in a single day?

When you get upset suddenly it's your fault and they're reaming you a new one when they were the one who messed up.

Im exhausted emotionally and physically. My son is what holds me together. I'd do anything for him. I wake each morning to see him smile to hear his laughter and to just feel his warmth.

My biggest fear is him being taken from me by his egotistical neglectful abusive yet charismatic father. I stay to avoid the courts taking him from me but Im drained and I dont know how much more I can take.

I have no desire to hurt myself or my son... Let me be perfectly clear but throwing his father under the bus (metaphorically not literal) is very appealing but it would hurt his other kids to lose their father. They depend on him as their mother passed away and they have no other real presence of family in their lives... Oh what to do what to do...

Someone know a good lawyer in Orange County Florida