What do you do when you want to die?

I'm sorry you feel this way. I know from my own experience that these thoughts are so very wrecking. When I feel that way I do think about my family and friends, so yeah, I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's just true for me. One other thing you can think about: life will most likely get better. It's not a promise or a guarantee, but I do think it's worth fighting for. I hope you have professional help that can help you get better. And I know the community here is very loving and accepting, so it's a good thing you reached out. Take care!

@Whynot7701 I felt like this until a couple of days ago. I didn't want to carry on and couldn't face 60 more years of being depressed - I hated myself and felt alone. I planned how I was going to do it, practically stopped eating, chose who I was leaving all my things to, bought people gifts (to say goodbye I guess) and began trying to sell or give away a lot of my things.

What helped was actually telling someone. I thought my situation wasn't serious enough to get help, and I also didn't want to be talked out of it either. But it helps to tell someone, to get some perspective, feel a sense of relief, and get support. The fact that you are still here shows something in you wants to live. Sometimes what you need is to feel like you are not keeping this huge suicidal secret alone, and also to feel that others go through the same thing, but then afterwards can find some things in life enjoyable again. Talk to other people in a similar situation online, or find a support group.

I would really recommend mentioning how you feel to someone you trust, or calling Samaritans. The website Sane helped too - seeing their suicadal procss spiral (find it here) showed me that maybe my feelings weren't rational or logical and maybe they were a symptom of my illness and I needed help.

Also on a practical note most suicides fail, and you don't want to end up paralysed or brain damaged - that would put you in an even worse situation than you are now, so don't rush into it. Think about the consequences.

Also, take a few days off from your job/school/commitments to focus on you - live as if it was your last day on earth, eat what you want and do what you want, treat yourself, and this might reawaken your will to live as you might enjoy these things.

Good luck, and even though you won't believe this, you are here for a reason and just as valid and useful to the world (and part of nature) as every tree, every bird, every river.

@Whynot7701 dear Ive been feeling the same on and off for quite some time now. Its been so painful lately. But please dont give up! I feel like Ive been the weakest person but Im here yet another day. So you can make it out too if I can.

@Whynot7701 I've been thinking about it a lot for the last few days. I know that if I can make it through a few more, I should be ok. Honestly what keeps me here is the fact that I can't do it to the people that I love. I couldn't imagine someone telling my sons that I killed myself.

Just even sharing and connecting on here..Ive struggled with these thoughts for the past few years. I do find it helpful to share but for me a therapist or support (like this site) is a way...I just dont feel comfortable sharing with my family and the friends I do have feel overwhelmed if I disclose this kind of information because they have never experienced it. Im just starting to go to meditation meetups and am going to try and get myself go to this group support meetup. Im nervous to go but Ibe gone to group therapy where I used to live and it can be an amazing support system.

Mst cities have some sort of one, I would even just google it. Theres something comforting to be able to show yourself to others no matter how depressed you are and not feel judged. And its amazing how you can connect with others who struggle with similar emotions. Youre not alone!

When I feel like that I think "in 3 days I can think about it". Then 3 days after I repeat that to myself. :)

I always think of that esp. In some circumstances.

But i stop myself because. Since i understand (or maybe not, but at least I believe I understand?)

Or maybe read a book an inspirational book... jog. walk to the park.bring a book then read there.

i usually take a bunch of pills and line them up next to a glass of water or take a sharp object and put it against my wrist or i try drown myself

1. I look at this thread of 100 reasons not to die https://joannechocolat.tumblr.com/post/132137343631/100-reasons-not-to-kill-yourself

2. This list of places to go before you die https://www.boredpanda.com/amazing-places-to-see-before-you-die-2/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

3. Listen to my playlist of favorite songs. Everytime I hear them, I want to listen to them more, and it doesn't seem worth dying anymore. . .

I hope you feel better

I've been suicidal for several years now and the only thing that holds me back is that I want to publish my writings. I have a story and characters I've been working on and developing for years. I know there's a pretty big chance my dream will never come true, but I can always publish it on the internet, I want to share it with people one way or another. If I'm dead, I won't be able to do it. And I feel like I can't do it to my characters, I know they're just a fantasy in my head but they keep me going. Writing itself is also very therapeutical, it helps me to see things from a bigger perspective.

Another way how to stay alive that works well for me is that I don't abandon the thought of suicide completely, but rather make a deal with it. I tell myself to wait a little bit longer and if I still feel like doing it, then I can do it. Things can turn out to be better but if they don't I still have a choice. This way I end up postponing it, even when I don't feel hopeful or don't believe it will get better. I know it's weird and I hope it's not triggering to anyone but I consider suicide to be one of the freedoms in life we get. If you try to end your life and fail there's a pretty big chance you'll end up paralyzed/disabled in some way and you'll lose the opportunity to decide whether you want to live or not. And you can never be 100% sure you won't fail in doing it. So even if just for the sake of not ending up dependent on other people or machines and being miserable because you lost your choice to take your life, it's better to carry on.