Alone in a World Full of People

i live in a home where i’m not allowed to have emotions.. anytime my face isn’t smiling, even if it’s just a look of confusion, my spouse gets annoyed and asks me if i’m ok, like as if it was so wrong for me to have a different facial expression. and it’s so hard to because i was ok until he starts asking as if tryjng to upset me on purpose… so sometimes i try my best to just be emotionless because even trying to explain something or following up on an age old request is wrong. i don’t know how to move coz It’s like my every small facial expression matters, even when i’m fine. i patiently pay it no mind when j can but when suddenly end up crying and upset from all if, i’m the bad person. and he always looks like the good parent with the kids because there’s mom who finally blew her top. i don’t know where home is. i’m so tired taking care of everything and everyone, running the household, doing thankless invisible tasks. i feel so alone. but i have to pretend to be ok and be strong.