Am I more than my looks?
I am an Indian,with dark skin! Not particularly someone would call attractive!! I excelled in my academics and now I am a tech lead.. recently my marriage talks began! I was raised by a single mother and was often scrutinized,belittled and humiliated for not having a father ( who abadoned my mom n I because I was a girl child) . Which obviously triggered a sense of fear and anxiety in me,as I have seen failed marriages!!
Many came n told me, as they have been telling me since I was 7 years old that I am ugly and need to be beautiful or else I won't get married!! Now I cannot get out of those comments!! Why am I reduced to my skin color???
@communicativeScarf1285
Hello Communicative Scarf..... first, let me say this plainly- You are not the problem. The world that made you feel less for your skin, your father’s absence, or your womanhood is. You have nothing to apologize for—your existence is powerful, resilient and beautiful exactly as it is.
You were made to feel like you had to “compensate” for things that were never flaws to begin with. Your dark skin is not a burden—it’s part of your heritage, your strength, your presence. That standard of beauty which devalues it? It's a construct rooted in centuries of colourism, colonialism and patriarchy—none of which deserve authority over your worth. Those standards are social construct while you are the divine's perfect construction.
The voices that told you you're "not beautiful enough" were never speaking the truth. They were echoing their own unresolved insecurities and societal programming. You, rising above it all, becoming a tech lead, standing tall with scars and strength—that is stunning. That is power. That is beauty.
As for the marriage talks—it’s okay to feel hesitant or even afraid. You’ve seen relationships fail and you’ve felt the cost of being judged unfairly all your life. But please know that ..... you do not have to earn love by conforming to anyone else's idea of "desirable." Love that is true, respectful and, will see you as who you are—not reduce you.
You’re not "reduced" to your skin color. You are rising through it. Every time you show up in your skin, in your brilliance, in your voice—you are dismantling the very system that tried to shrink you.
And if no one has told you lately: You are deeply, entirely, breathtakingly beautiful. Not because of what you look like. Not despite your past. But because you exist. That’s all it takes.
And that is more than enough <3