Am i wrong?
Im from broken home family, and i follow my mom side
As first child with a little sister that only have 2 years gap with me im used to do everything by my self without ask attention from my family
Around first year of middle school my parents start fighting and as the only child who understand what things, im become the only supporter when my mom dedicated to get divorce
After that i leave alone with my mom, with my 2 younger siblings hating on me for being supporter of our family dismissed
My communication with my father was okay but he never be charing person so by times its feel like you don't have father
And my mom, After divorce she start get busy with her job and her new romance. We never talk about our day or stuff. Feels like stranger on the same roof.
Around when im get into university my to siblings finally came life with us and i can feel the different of my mom attitude between me and them, she seems feel guilty so trade them better
since then i feel like the only stranger in my home. Both of my younger siblings growthup with care from my father, so there is big gap about our personality, and worse they still don't like me.
So i wonder am i wrong to supporter my mom on divorce?
Im i wrong to growth up with this personality?
Im i wrong born into this family?
@Viorafallentine You're not wrong for any of the feelings you're having. It sounds like you've had to deal with a lot at a young age, and it's normal to wonder if you did something wrong. You supported your mom during her divorce because she needed you, and that’s a sign of your strength and responsibility. It's understandable that you feel conflicted about your role, but you did what you thought was best for your family at the time. You were doing your best to help. Your personality, being strong and independent, probably grew out of everything you've been through. That's not a bad thing, but it can be hard when you feel like you're not really seen or understood by others. You didn’t choose your family or the situation you were born into, and you’re not wrong for how things turned out. It’s okay to feel upset or confused about your family. No one can control their family or how things happen in life. Your feelings are completely valid. It might help to talk to someone like a counselor who can help you understand and work through your feelings. You're not alone, and it's okay to ask for support when you need it.
@Viorafallentine
From my very personal experience the best place for children when their parents divorce is staying neutral. Taking anyone's side can only make you used and bring you harm. But I guess you were too young to be aware of the fact that you were entangled in the conflict which wasn't really yours and you did the best thing you thought was right.
I feel personally responsible for the divorce of my parents. I had been talking to mom about it since I was around 10. Their marriage was a disaster (if I can say so of a 20-year marriage from which four kids were born) and they were very unhappy with each other. But either of them were too immature to take such a decision by themselves. They divorced years later. And I think that was a good decision. Now I've still got my mother and my father, and they both care about their grandchildren just... not together.
As for your last two questions, I believe there is nothing wrong with you, and it was not your decision about the time and place when you were born. But I understand your frustration.
Maybe one day your siblings may change their perspective? Even if they are now not yet able to appreciate how living in a broken family is less evil than living on the frontline. I think I had combat-like PTSD while leaving my family home. My siblings were spared from that fate.
@ViorafallentineHello, I just want you to understand—you were not wrong for anything you have done. You were a child placed in a situation no child should ever have to deal with, and you did what you believed was the right thing. You supported your mom when she needed you, and that proves your strength, not weakness.