Annoying behaviors/triggers
My mom has a bad habit of getting in my face or violating my boundaries/personal space. She has been doing that for a while now. Today, she put her finger in my face and it made me really upset/angry. I could use your help because these triggers just make my mental illness worse. Thanks.
@Anna0319 That sounds really upsetting, and your reaction makes complete sense having your personal space violated can feel threatening, especially when it’s a repeated pattern. It’s not “too much” to be affected by this; triggers are real, and it’s understandable that they worsen your mental health. You deserve boundaries, even with a parent, and it’s okay to feel angry when those boundaries aren’t respected. I’m really glad you reached out for support instead of holding it all in you’re not wrong for needing space and safety.
Thank you. She is toxic and abusive, and she never stopped being abusive...
@Anna0319 I’m really sorry you’ve had to live with that for so long what you’re describing is abuse, and it’s deeply damaging when it comes from someone who was supposed to protect you. The fact that it never stopped can make the hurt feel constant and exhausting, and none of that is your fault. Your feelings are valid, your boundaries are valid, and your need for safety emotional and physical matters. You deserve support, distance where possible, and compassion for how much strength it’s taken just to keep going in an environment like that. You’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone.
Thank you so much...:(
@Anna0319 I am sorry you're going through this. Having your physical space invaded, especially by a parent is very jarring. When someone puts a finger in your face, it's a non-verbal way of asserting dominance, and it's completely natural that your body reacts with anger or alarm response.
Here are some ways to protect your peace:
The Step Back Technique: As soon she enters your bubble, physically take a step back before you even speak. This creates a literal buffer and sends a clear signal that you are maintaining distance.
The Broken Record Statement: Prepare a neutral, short sentence to use every time it happens. For example " I can hear what you're saying, but please move your hand away from my face so I can focus on the conversation."
Exist The Room: If she continues to violate that boundary after you've asked her to stop, you have the right to leave the room. You aren't "running away" you are removing yourself from a stimulus that harms your mental health.
It is often hard to set boundaries in the heat of the moment. If you feel safe doing so, try talking to her when things are calm: "Mom, when we talk and you get very close or put your hands near my face, it triggers a lot of my anxiety and anger for me. It makes it hard for me to be present with you. I need you to keep distance so we can communicate better.
She did it again today...