Breakup
In 2018, I broke up with my girlfriend. It's 2023, and I'm still not over it. I saw everything and had everything with that woman; she was the love of my life, but I was young and foolish and messed it up. During that time, I also consumed drugs to numb my feelings. In 2021, I saw her at a festival (we didn't even talk), and since then, I've been feeling really bad, even until today. I've been in psychological treatment, but everything in my mind revolves around her. She's already in a new relationship, but every day I hope for a message or some other sign. Has someone ever gone threw such a long „suffering“ time?
@redHemlock6077 Hi. Sorry to hear that you’re suffering. It’s not easy to realize we made such consequential mistakes. Every time you indulge that voice in your head, “I should have…” or “I shouldn’t have…” it’s like taking a hammer out of your pocket and hitting yourself. If someone points this out we usually say, “yeah but I deserve it.” But you know this isn’t true. Yes, keep the hope that maybe she’ll come back to you, BUT don’t just stay stuck in low probability, maybe maybe maybe land. Go look for a couple of new relationships while you’re waiting for her return. First relationship to look for is the one with yourself. It’s actually really great self compassion to put down that hammer and be your best friend. Go better yourself with exercise, new experiences or activities and hobbies. Those things can be great for meeting your next potential relationship. Your level of continued suffering is really up to you. Eventually you’ll get tired of hitting yourself. That’s exactly why you’re here asking this question on 7 cups isn’t it?
You‘re totally right.. thanks fot those kind words