Current Path Not Sustainable

Hi Everyone ... try and be concise and cohesive as possible ... I have suffered from depression, anxiety, and for most of my adult life. However, the past few years the severity of these things has really escalated. I moved from SC to OH for a new job, starting up a new cannabis cultivation/processing center. Unfortunately this turned into a pretty toxic environment. Furthermore, the move occurred during Covid and my limited support network just ceased to exist between a move and lockdowns. Despite stellar reviews, my position is set to be eliminated in 2023. In some ways I am glad as I was feeling very trapped between declining mental health and financial obligations.

My current state of being is not sustainable. These days I wake up between 2 am to 4 am. Within a minute of waking, my heart starts racing, I am sweating, nauseous etc. Being active and talking helps some during these times ... but at 2 am there my options are limited and I just lay on the couch or head in to work. I have zero interest in outside of activities. I don't know if I am more scared of being unemployed ... or actually getting a new job and having to be functional w/my current state of mind.

I would love to hear of peoples experiences and their journey ... because I am struggling.