Curse

Hi, this is my first time doing this. I have been holding onto a lot of pain completely by myself, and I just really need someone to listen.

For my whole life, I have felt like I am never valued. People seem to just use me and throw me away when they don't need me anymore. Back in 11th and 12th grade, I went through some really traumatic experiences. I was beaten up badly in front of a girl I liked just for giving her a letter, betrayed by someone who told my secrets to my enemy, and even slapped by a girl's boyfriend without having any idea she was in a relationship. Everyone I have cared about has either cheated me or used me.

Because my parents were very strict, I was always kept isolated in a single room. I have no friends, and the loneliness is suffocating. On top of all this emotional pain, I suffer from mild scalp psoriasis. It constantly itches and the physical pain is hard to bear. I only get about a day of relief after I wash my head. Dealing with both mental and physical pain at the same time is exhausting.

Most nights, I just lie in bed and cry. Strangely, crying in the dark is the only thing that brings me a sense of comfort and makes it easy to fall asleep. My one true wish in life is to just find a good, caring life partner who won't cheat me or use me. But I am terrified that it might never happen. Thank you for just being there and reading this."