Deep depression or whatever that is
Hi. I’m dealing with something and I don’t even know how to call it. I have problems with studies, university, I fail in everything I do, I’m tired of myself and it feels like I’m really lost. I’m so insecure, and I always blame myself. I don’t know how to get rid of it. My memory is awfully bad, I can’t eat, I can’t deal with anything, and it feels like no one’s there to help. University makes me feel worse, and also that I’m failing subjects and my parents pay for this university I feel guilty, and I’m really angry at myself that I can’t pass. I’m studying, putting my whole energy and nerves into this studying but I still fail. I’m so tired of this. I just don’t like this world. I don’t know why I’m here. I know everything has a purpose, but I really can’t take it anymore
@darkTurtle6
Hey there, thanks so much for having the courage to reach out and make a post about what's going on. I'm so sorry to hear how much you've been struggling lately - how did it feel, to write about it and see it on the screen in black and white?
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot at the moment - you've used a lot of words like anger, insecure and failure that speak to just how bad things have become. Given your lack of appetite and memory problems, do you think you'd be able to tell someone close to you what's going on, so that they can help you access the support that you need? I know you said that it feels like there's no one there to help you, and that's a horrible feeling that no one deserves.
What you say about being tired and not being able to take it sounds like a really heavy feeling and I am just so sorry that this is how things are at the moment. You're here, you're talking about it and that's such an important first step to things looking up. I've been where you are, and it doesn't possibly feel like things could ever get lighter or easier, but one day you look back and realise just how low you were and how much better things became.
Life is always worth it. Hang in there if you can. And please keep reaching out, keep talking. I'd really welcome a chat with you if you feel it would be useful.