Deep in depression
Hi, I’m brand new and I need to reach out. I’m so deep in depression right now. I haven’t been this bad since my ex husband left me 5 years ago.
I know I need professional help, but can’t afford it just yet. I’m looking into pricing and need to find a way to work it into my budget.
My boyfriend has been living with me since February 1, of this year. We have a lot of struggles, but are trying to make it work. Last Friday we had a HUGE blow up, 100% ruined weekend plans and left us both sunken into depression all weekend, living separate under the same roof. It was awful.
I have anger issues. He’s an alcoholic. But we finally started talking again on Monday night, more Tuesday, more today (Wednesday). But now he’s mad at me again because I expressed my pain over and over and he feels I’m beating a dead horse (him). I just don’t know how to move past the horrible things he said to me during the fight, even after he’s apologized. They stick with me and affect me deeply. I’m struggling hard and believe it will take a lot of time.
@Katya78
Go easy Katya, you'll get to where you need to be in time because you are self aware that you have anger issues.. You have chosen to be brave and honest about it.
Now all you need to do is continue working to get to a therapist or whatever your working on.
Until that time just attempt to slow things down until you get in the clinic..
While your waiting, stick around 7cups. You can also watch self help videos on YouTu.be. "Ted Talks" videos are quite useful too and so many more..
Your boyfriend probably needs help too but you can't change others just yourself..
Good luck 🌲
Thank you, I appreciate your response.
Yes my boyfriend definitely needs help as well, but like you said I can only be responsible for myself. He has admitted to knowing that he needs help he just hasn’t taken any action on that knowledge. Our issues combined definitely hurt us a lot, but I know that I need help with mine regardless of him or anything else. My anger issues have also hurt my children (teens), so I know that it’s very important for me to figure this out.
Thank you for the suggestions on TEDTalks and YouTube videos, I tried looking at a couple free apps for anger management but there’s not much to them and I don’t think they’re gonna be much help, I will try the avenues you suggested until I can find a Therapy that fits my budget. I have also self diagnosed as having high functioning depression, it just makes sense with what I feel and experience on a very very regular basis, especially when I get enmeshed in the situation with my boyfriend and it brings me down so low. He also struggles with depression which I think could be a side effect of a diagnosis he received when he was a teenager, but then coupled with being an alcoholic it just exacerbates everything. I feel that my relationship with him is very complicated, and maybe there isn’t the right thread to discuss it in but it contributes to my depression.
Anyway I appreciate you responding to me.
@Katya78
Absolutely! I'm glad you are so smart and ready to take action for your future..
As they say, it takes a village...
We're so proud of you here for stepping up to the plate and fulfilling your destiny! 🌲
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@Katya78 words hurt 💙 they really do, and I'm sorry you're having to feel that
Welcome to cups 💙 we're rooting for you