Depression

yesterday my mom threw me and her husband a birthday party it was more of a lets try to make my daughter cry. like the person i call dad is not my dad and i know that but she did not have to threw it in my face. like i know my real dad and i dont talk to him have no need to. But it was more of a reminder that he is not your dad. but blood doesnt make you family you been there and loved you and cared for you. like my grandma been gone 1 and 5 months and get told all the time that was my mom like yes i know that but who took care of grandma. when you didnt want to . who took grandma in i did. i understand that was her mom i get it. but it seems everytime we get together its like how can we make her cry. like i dont get it