Exhausted
Nobody around me IRL understands how much emotional pain I’m going through. I think the only one who keeps up with me is my doctor. It’s beyond hard, majority of the time I don’t care about myself, I feel alone vey alone.
I’m confused because a lot of times I’m not really living the life I want. It’s harder when you were expecting something and living ur whole life for something. Which was basically something that means everything to me.
Then it’s been ripped from me. Most of the time I wake up literally feeling sick & dreading each day. I never felt such despair I felt in my life. A lot of times I have to keep face with people around me.
Thts been difficult, so I have to pretend I’m ok even though I’m really not. I guess u can say I’m privileged in a lot of things so Wht is there to be depressed about?
At least thts wht a lot of people will say around me or say tht depression doesn’t exist. Even now writing this I’m exhausted.
I haven’t clean my room in months but I’m occupying another room in the house which is clean. I barely feel like eating and it’s hard now for me to take care of myself. I barely have the energy to do things. Just walking takes a lot of effort.
All in all majority of the time I just cope in my head. Pretending I have this “friend” Thts with me 24/7 to help me do things. I know right? Sounds crazy but thts how I’m coping to get through the day.
im an adult but can’t even take care of myself. It’s hard to love myself. I just hope one day I can be happy and normal again. I’m exhausted honestly.
@communicativeLime4983
Dear Lime,
I'm so sorry you feel that way. One can only imagine what it must feel like being in your shoes. It feels like you are in distress and you're going through a lot. Let me tell you that you're not alone in this journey. It is a very difficult one to get through but I'm sure once you get to the other side of the shore, you'd feel better. The way you feel numb, and tired of everything you're going through, i must say, it is very hard to get through days filled with such difficulties. You have expressed your feelings out here and that's commendable. As far as i know, you're doing a great job dealing with whatever you're going through. Although it doesn't seem like it, you're doing a wonderful job getting through a day despite all odds and i think we all should learn from you. Life is a journey. It will have good days and bad days. The bad days do not last forever and the good days aren't short. Take your time to heal. We're here for you. One step at a time.
Thanks blissful, this just made my day.
It is all so exhausting and frustrating. What kinds of things are you trying to do to care for yourself?@communicativeLime4983