Feeling helpless
Sometimes I ask myself how I've survived suicide many times this life is not fair always. Some of us have to work hard for things and the moment things starts getting together when I get happy. I take 10 steps backwards it's like I've been doing nothing or being patient for nothing, is it normal?
@Gugu1234 Hi. Sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I don’t know if my experience is close to yours but I have had areas of improvement and am shocked when I end up making some mistakes I thought I wouldn’t repeat. I think we all live in a very precarious world. We think we are standing on a house size foundation when in reality we might all be closer to standing on the edge of a cliff. Life has a way of changing quickly and changing our perception of stability. Our mental health can be similar. It too is subject to change. That change may be due to external or internal conditions or both. I try to not blame myself so much anymore - instead I try to consider my problems complex and because of that I have to frequently reevaluate how I’m going to get back the 10 steps forward. I’d like to think that because what I learn that the next time I’ll only go backward 7 steps. On occasion I am also happy that some problems never take me backward anymore. But yeah, it can be tough. Rest, regroup, breath, try again tomorrow.
No life isn't fair and sometimes your brain does tell you that it is 10 steps back.
But I am not sure that it is. Each time you fall it is equally painful, however you learned something from the other times that you fell. You actually tend to get up a little faster because you know how to cope more.
This is a disease that I know I will always have. But I know where some of the pitfalls are now and that there are things I won't be able to handle well. It causes me to call out my resources faster.
You can do this and manage what you have been handed. It doesn't feel like it today I am sure, but it may feel like it tomorrow. @Gugu1234
